A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello CupidsEVery day for the last 5 months, I have wanted to tell my best friend of 4 years that I like him more than an friend. However, he is so shy when it comes to dating and love. I have felt strongly towards him for a while, but I don’t know how to tell him, i cannot do it face to face it will be too hard for me so how?Recently I have noticed that he acts differently towards me , such as , he will look into my eyes for longer periods when we talk or he will look at my lips when I talk (what does that mean?) also he constantly shifts towards me when we sit together. Even though we live separate lives (he now lives far away because of work), he will always talk about his friends and include me, even though I met them once. A mutual friend had told me he asked my crush why he had not made a move, and he said he often thinks about it but is frightened of losing are friendship if things went wrong. He said most of his friends think we are an item because of the way he talks about me and because a picture of us is in wallet. I did not ask him to put it there, but I find it sweet. I came close to telling him, but it was not in the best way. We got in a huge argument over something (a girl that liked him) and i stupidly got jealous. Right there and then in the street he shouted ‘why don’t you just tell me how you really feel’ I froze and walked off. I didn’t want to tell him like that you know. The only thing that is stopping me is the fact that we could lose everything and maybe I am not good enough for him. But I really need to get this of my chest. and soon!Any help pleaseThanks ?
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best friend, crush, jealous, period, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (15 February 2012):
Sounds like you are going to have to make the first move!! shy guys are often that way because they fear rejection, just like you do. Maybe you are perfect for each other but you will never find out if neither of you does anything. First thing is to return the loving look, and add a little smile to show you like it. And you can start the loving stare so he knows you feel the same way. Next you fine a way to be at the same place at the same time and talk and find something or somewhere to do together. Have lunch or better get a sandwich and go somewhere together to eat them. I would suggest a park but its probably too cold right now. At the right time just hold his hand just gently, hopefully he won't die of shock or excitement, and you can say something like I really like you, or just Thanks for being a friend, etc. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): I was once in pretty much the same position.We were great friends for around 4 years.
And one day i gathered my guts and told him that i liked him as more than a friend. Now I don't regret doing it at all, but it turns out he liked someone else and about a month later he had a girlfriend, but in the whole process he was as much of a gentleman as he could have been. For example, when he decided to ask that other girl out he told me first so i wouldn't hear it from anyone else.
In the end, sure we didn't end up going out, but that huge load was lifted off my chest and we remain best friends, actually even better friends than what we were before. I am also on very good terms with his girlfriend who is still his girlfriend (it's been a year and a half already)
SO just go for it. It shouldn't end badly, there are just many possible outcomes.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Well are you two going to remain friends in this awkward situation? How are you supposed to remain as casual friends with all these mixed, frustrating emotions that have been building up?
You have two options at this point:
-Continue to friendship pretending neither of you have feelings for each other.
-Do something about it.
At this point, you either give it a go, or eventually, you two probably won't be able to pretend anymore. You guys might stop hanging out. He might try dating someone to ward off this friendship.
Your friendship will either fail because you tried dating but it didn't work, or the two of you will get fed up of this pretending it's still a friendship and stop being friends.
The choice is yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): Do it carefully, I have had lots of experience about good friends going out. If you do go out with him, act normally.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Maybe you could just ask him casually what he thinks of the idea of becoming boyfriend-girlfriend and mention you've thought about it too.
When I say bring it up casually, I'm saying that because you don't want to come across with a lot of intensity, or seem all flustered. Just sound him out and then take it from there. You've been good friends for a long time, and I'd recommend you let things develop slowly.
Good luck - it sounds promising!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 I have two suggestions:
1. Make sure that your trusted friends know about your interest in this guy..... and that you'd like for him to learn of your interest..... THAT me be an avenue which gets the message to him.....
2. Make sure that you put yourself where he is (physically) as often as you can.... AND that you are DOING some of the same activities that he's doing.... like going to the mall... sports activities.... other school activities..... and make sure that you use those common interests to open CONVERSATIONS with him (For example: "Boy, isn't the school soccer team doing great? Want to go watch their next game with me?????")....
Good luck.....
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A
male
reader, AFOLAYAN 12  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Honestly if i must say, you have to follow your heart to get what your heart desires.How are u sure he is not having this same insinuation in his mind? The best and the greatest person you can ever be in life is you and the best person dat can help u solve any puzzle of life is you and you alone. You have to let your mind work. Stop incaccerating your mind. An impression without an expression can lead to self depression. I understand how u feel. Since he is not saying it and you have waited for long with no action from his side, you must make the move. It is a fight of faith( a very good one). Since it is real from your heart make it known to him. The opposite of faith is fear. You have to ostracise fear from your heart and take a bold step. Dont worry about the outcome, i tell you it is going to be positive. Dont think it will make you to go down low, it will not bellitle you at all because at d end youur conscience would have justified you for doing that. When next u guys meet, sit him down, look straight into his eye ball and down his lips and say to his hearing that yoi love him. The angels will be waiting to applaud you for taking dat bold faith. Thank you.
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