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Right person, Wrong time?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Faded love, Long distance, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *keez writes:

Hey guys

I have a question more for all of you.

Is there such a thing as meeting the RIGHT person at the WRONG time.

I met who I am pretty sure is the love of my life or at least I want him to be, 2 and a half years ago.

We were in a long distance situation (not relationship, we never established that) but because his work involved him travelling a lot (like 300 miles away one week then 150 the next, then 500 the next etc) for the next year, and he said he couldn't commit to me because I would be miles away from him all the time and we saw each other in the 11 months we were doing whatever we were going only 4-5 times and he found it hurtful for him to know it would have to stay that way for the next year and so he said he couldn't because he wanted to see me too much.

He expected me to hate him after that but tbh I just couldn't bring myself too. I was undoubtedly hurt but i understood where he was coming from and it did make sense to me.

Now Ive moved back home, so i am even further away from him but we stay in contact daily by either texting, snapchating or Skyping and I still cant shrug off that desire I have for him, he is a beautiful person and I have never come across anyone since who has made me feel good.

Anyways he is moving back to his home permanently and I am moving back to where I lived at Uni, so we will be only 45 mins train drive away and I believe we could grow something again eventually, but some of my friends tell me if he was the right guy it would have been the right time, but they didn't and still don't understand that I would have never stopped his life ambitions and career he worked and works very hard for just to be with me.

So do you guys believe in the right person at the wrong time can become the right person at the right time one day?

View related questions: ambition, long distance, text

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 June 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYES... there can be "right persons at the wrong time". In fact, if one got a nickel for every time that happened... I would be a very well-to-do man!!!!

Good luck...

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (25 June 2013):

The Realist agony auntYes yes yes! You can meet wonderful people at horrible times. If you two would have tried to start a relationship with so much distance it probably wouldn't have worked so although the decision was tough it was probably for the best. If I was in his shoes I wouldn't want a gf so far away missing me all the time, it wouldn't be fair.

Now he's back and still in touch which is a good sign.

Go for it and best of luck to you!

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A female reader, lenahbridge United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2013):

I say go for it. As anonymous said, its just life! Things like this happen. It was bad timing and it sounds like there wasn't much you could do about it, but maybe now is your chance. If you don't try, you will always wonder 'what if'. Best of luck :)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (25 June 2013):

CindyCares agony auntAnd what if he was the wrong person at the wrong time...?

You say that you can see where he was coming from and it all made sense to you.

This because you had a big soft spot for the guy. I don't , and to me it sounds , basically, the usual BS of a guy who is not much interested / drags his feet because does not want to be nailed down to one woman.

First, he was not going to be always 500 miles from you. You ould have been " miles " away from him all the time.... 150 - 200 miles is a very doable weekend distance for two people who WANT to be together. Second, you had seen each other only 4 - 5 times , but you weren't even in a relationship then , it makes sense to me thinking that a guy in a relationship could and would try harder... if he wants the girl enough. Third, it was going to be ONE more year for Pete's sake ! Talk about instant gratification ! If he had wanted you " so much " as he said... how does it make any sense that giving up and NOT seeing you at all is better than seeing you every now and then ? , just to not have to wait one single year ?

As you can see , I am a bit skeptical about the version he sold you. It sounds very romantic and noble, and just what a girl with a big crush wants to hear, absolutely music for your ears. In practice, and considering you did not even make it to step one of a relationship, it means : " I am not going to sweat it so much FOR YOU "

Believe me, I would not like anything more than being proven wrong by future developments- yet, I agree with your friends, and something tells me, that when you 'll only be 45 minutes away from each other, the situation won't change that much, and something ,work or family or personal problem, will conveniently pop up to still make it too far a distance for dating.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013):

Yes! I believe you meet the right someone at the wrong time, it's called life. Love is not a fairy tail and is hard work so it's silly to think that 'if you meet the right guy it will be the right time'

Go for it. Maybe now is right for both of you your never know unless you try. Good luck.

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