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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have posted a couple of questions on this site and I received a lot of good answers that built me up. However, I am still in the same place I was when I started posting because for every kind answer I received here there were others on the internet and in real life that reinforced the reason why I was feeling bad and not what i was told on dearcupid. This has led me to wonder if people who were kind were doing it out of being politically correct which is of no use or am I self hating and want my beliefs to be true so that i may enjoy the emotional anguish of being inferior kind of like a cuckold?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (24 February 2013):
You can always find opinions on the Internet that will make you feel bad if you're the type that naturally has low self esteem.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Well I didnt enjoy the cuckold relations I was involved in as a child with my mom uuggg I know its true but strange. But to each its own. Everybody likes different things so to speak thats your business. Its odd to me the fact that you want to be in situations of humiliation or you like to watch or peek your partner sleeping with someone.else. Or whatever the issue is with whatever you like everyone is different. I would feel some kind of way if I enjoy that too but Im not you. Do what you want do what you like.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 In order to make changes in your life (for the better) you have to listen to the good and the bad, Some things are hard to hear but they help you challenge your own opinions and perceptions on life. You will get there in time, but only you can do it. Advise is there to make you think. I've posted on here and found some answers hard to hear but they were still useful.Hope things get better for you soon.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): I am am the OP. I have been reading through my questions and looking at my problems and they all have to do with peoples perception of me. I think that if they like and respect me, i will be able to do the same and i won't be able to like myself if they don't.I think i am looking for acceptance and find it in being sad because it doesn't take any effort.I am too lazy to want to better myself and work for my happiness
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Hi
I don't know what your original post was but sounds like your back to square one.
You say others on the internet and in real life reinforced why you were feeling bad.Why do you let them?
You and you alone are responsible for how you feel,what and who you are influenced by.
The world has a few bad people,but mainly folk just get on with their lives and do not wish to inflict pain or harm on anyone.Thats how life is.
I think you need to see a professional, face to face,you need to help yourself, so you can live your life in a healthy happy way.Stop being so down on yourself and get your emotional well-being sorted out once and for all.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Look, it's this simple. You CHOOSE to listen to what you WANT to listen to. If you hear many negative comments, and feel bad because of them, then that is a CHOICE you make. So yes, in that manner, you do choose to be miserable. If it's because you like it I don't know, but it is a sort of self-pitying thing to talk yourself down, and you can't really be disappointed if you never expect much from yourself.
Then again, you'd be miserable.
Now, being happy means you risk losing happiness, and that can be a fall-down. Tons of people are scared of being happy, scared of taking pride in themselves. Because if you build yourself up, you're scared of the fall. Thing is, if you build yourself up... there's no fall. Because you CHOOSE whether or not to be happy. You choose whether or not something will make you fall. If you feel great about yourself, and then hear a negative comment, you can choose to NOT let it bother you.
People never have any more power over you than what you give them.
Tons of people, too many in my opinion, allow others to affect them. They start off with a negative view of themselves, and then every negative comment they remember, but every positive comment they say "they must be lying".
Why do you choose to believe the negative comments are true, and choose to believe the positive are lies? Do you not see that that is not rational? That is a subjective choice you make, that one should be a lie, and the other the truth. You might as well flip it around, because that's what I do. Every negative comment is a lie. People say negative things about others to make themselves feel good. It's a way of pulling others down to make themselves feel better. So the negative comments are lies. Positive comments only make others happy. Positive comments help build others up. A person wouldn't give positive comments unless they mean it, that's what I think. It takes a confident person to say positive things, and it takes an insecure person to say negative things.
I think a confident person has a much more realistic view of things, than a negative and insecure person.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (24 February 2013):
 For every kind person in the world there is one that isn't so kind, or perhaps even downright cruel. Most people go through life and really are good people but sadly its the bad and cruel people that stick out in our minds. Think about it, its true. It sounds like you are depressed and really being down on yourself. You have to find the strength within yourself to get out of the darkness you are in.
Others can help you and guide you..but in the end..you have to build yourself up. If you can't do it by yourself, why not seek some professional help?
Don't let what others say influence you to the point where you can't function! No one is worth that. You have to believe in yourself and make your own happiness. The truth is that no one can really make you happy but yourself. What is going to make you happy? That's what you need to find out. Please let us know how you are. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (24 February 2013):
Dear OP,
It would be very helpful if you could link us the problems you posted here before so that we would better understand what you are talking about.
Cupids answer any problems based on the information given by the posters. Therefore, if answers vary from people in real life, they are because they may have more information about your problem or they know you as a friend or a family member.
Hope you could let us know what you are referring to by linking your previous post (s) .
Thank you.
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