A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Please please help me with my 8 yr old relationship break down nightmareHello my name is Jorge, I am 25 yr old male from Puerto Rico USA.I love your videos , great job you are helping on many different levels. I feel that you can shed some light on my crazy situation and Ill just give you a little info about my situation and ask you what you think:I had a GF for 7-8yrs (we are both scorpios ) and everything was fine. She talked about breaking up about 2 months ago. I said "If that is what you want because you are not sure about me, I totally support your decision and admire you for the courage to take this step. You have my full support and I will try to always be your friend, I love you and you can count on me I want you to be free and happy and if that is not with me then I support you 100 per cent" basically.Well she said she would not want contact with me because "it would bias me in your (mine) favor". Well "OK" I said, and I have given her space for a solid and long, somewhat dark and confusing 6-8 weeks.I thought she was going to eventually come back to me on her own for many reasons.It has been 2 months now and this is now really starting to hurt for real. So I called her up yesterday because I missed her and wanted to know what was going on with our lives. She said she does not want to do with me anymore because she does not love me anymore and maybe even never did. That there is just "no more chemistry" between us. That she has been going out with other guys. I reckon some sexual problem but I can say that I do make her orgasm regularly and that she sais this is not because of sex at all, yet there is just no chemistry and no spark/magic in our relationship. I just dont agree at all with any of this and feel completely cheated/robbed by life. She sais its her not me and that I could not have been a better BF ;her friends/family seem to agree.So I went to her house after this brief phone intro, I wanted to get this straight in person. She starts about how she does not love me anymore, I try to play it cool but it was just too much. I just couldnt handle this and just eventually the tears started flowing. I said this was a nightmare and basically denying the situation inside of me at a deep subconscious level. I felt great negativity and aversion towards her. She had the strange energy and eyes of being with someone else and everything about her just hurt.I left the house and in my car I just had to go back to her and tell her something I did not even know what. She came to the door she was also sort of sobby, she asked me if I needed a Hug I said no. There was some serious aversion energy between her and me I just could take her hug. I don't even know what I said to her but she thanked me for it. I just couldn't deal with leaving.So I couldn't deal with the reality of this on my way to my place and I called her because I just wanted her to know how I really felt inside because I had been trying to play it cool for all these weeks and I thought she never really had gotten to understand my feelings about all of this. It got psychotic.So she ended crying with me and shes like "well you have to move on now you are a very talented good looking guy; you will surely find another person" and I was just a little unbalanced to say the least. Needless to say she was my dream come true as a GF and she is all that I would ever want we even have a band together, we share deep spiritual connections and this is just too sad to realize what had happened. Many people saw us as a perfect relationship. My friend just can't believe this has happened.Today I sort of messed up again by calling her cell about 25 times (she won't answer) and her house like 14, I left her a message asking her how does she say "we can be friends" but does not pick up the phone and is virtually unavailable to me. But this is after yesterday so I understand. I just want to say I am sorry for being psychotic and losing my cool, that I support her decision and that we can be friends.I honestly believe I am the one for her and she for me, and that no one will ever be able to love her as much as I do because I do seriously believe I owe my life to her at this date for some other matters that are a bit off topic here.Well I just want to know what you think I should do now. I tried to go hang out today with my friends and go to my day job I just couldn't deal with trying to teach kids to play guitar and crying at the same time.I guess I should I just move on in life and suck it up like a man, and forget about her all together and move on and just forget about this and not even think about getting back to her? This is what her friend told me to do. To party hard and meet new women; but this is much deeper to me than just meeting new women or being dumped. This is a very deep, spiritual issue. Its very strange I get these depressive pangs and its a bit scary how sad I feel all of a sudden when I realize how much I loved this person and what she meant for me.Your input will be highly valued. Thank you for your time if you got to the end of this I want to wish you a very wonderful life and the best to you.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I just want to point out that its not sane how you are acting and at this point its to early to even be friends. You should not obsessed over a person because this is a red flag as to get me away from this person, and you behavior right now might provoke her fear.
It would be nice to be able to continue a friendship with someone that we cared so much about, but you know why its not possible because we would hurt to see them move on while we stayed stuck in the past hoping that one he/she returned to us.
Maybe in the future you two can be friends but right now the best thing you can do is move on, be with someone that is going to love you back. Don't call her 20 times don't call her 1 time don't call her at all, try your best to move on allow yourself time for happiness and let go of the past.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 May 2010):
 You have started the difficult process of recovering from a break up. It is a grief process and similar to what you go through if someone you love dies.
It's not easy, it's not comfortable, it's not a happy time. But you can get through it and you WILL survive it. Make sure you get the support of your friends and family and surround yourself with healthy ways of coping. Watch the alcohol intake as it acts as a depressant and will not make you feel better over the long term.
I have some links for you to read, which I think can help you focus on your healing and getting on with the grieving process. I hope they help.
Take care of yourself.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=508 (you'll have to copy/paste that whole link as the '?' interrupts the hyperlink)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): Wow..I so feel your pain.
I've been there before. My BF of 11yrs did the same to me. And I had the harest time moving on. I just focused on work & school. At first I would go looking forhim or call me over & over & we did was fight & get no where. I didn't feel better after talking to him I actually felt worest & more depressed. Then one day I stopped myself & put focus some where else. & guess what happened months later he came back to me. At firdt I was like no I can't do this again. I eventually gave in & we stayed together for a total of 11yrs. Until now, I can't forgive or forget what he did & why he left me to begin with. To this day I'm still hurt & ny guard is always up. I love him I've always have & will I mean come on we stayed together this long. But he lost the magic & the spark for us when he did to me. I tried to be happy with him but deep down I was hurt.
So from personal expernice move on..let it go. Its going to hurt & its going to take time. If she comes back to you its your choice to go back or not. Everyone is different you just might be able to let it go & not be like me. But I would try to move on.Dont call or visit anymore let it go.
I just wish you the best of luck! I'm so sorry I know how hard it is.Keep your head up & who knows maybe something better might come along. You never know what God has in store for you.
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