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Please help me decode him........

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2011)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i know him since childhood .. he is 5 years elder to me and I used to call him Anna (brother) .. thats how any girl here calls a guy who is elder to her .. anyways .. after he finished schooling and left school in my 5th grade we hardly ever met or spoke to each other .. have met him once in my ninth grade .. my dad and his mom work together and through them we get to know what the other does .. all this was casual ..

now we stay in two different countries .. im 22 and he is 27 .. both taurus (if it helps at all) .. i have been in a relationship for 4 yrs and he none .. right now we both are single ..

he came to India in Dec for his bro's wedding and was here for a month .. even here we stay in two different states but we met twice in this one month .. and since the first time we met, we were in constant touch .. texting, calling etc .. i kinda started developing feelings for him .. liked him a lot since childhood ..

once he left to US this continued and one day I told him how i feel about him .. but he told me he like me a lot, adores me and respects me lot and that would remain the same forever .. when i wanted to ask him the reason behind it, he said he didnt wanna continue the discussion and feel uncomfortable when he meets me next time .. and he doesnt want me to pull the strings till it breaks .. however, I felt he likes and just has not realised it yet .. cos his actions spoke something different when I met him and even in the chats we had ..

after that we didnt talk much and he says he doesnt call that often cos he is busy with work (he joined a new company around the same day when told him about my feelings) ..

but now again we talk normally as if nothing happened .. but I still feel the same for him even stronger .. i dont wanna tell him coz I respect his feelings and dont wanna disturb him ..

what I dont understand is if doesnt feel the same way why does he have to call me and talk to me .. he continues to care for me, he insists on solving my worries .. i have told him N number of times that he makes me smile n happy .. all these still continue ..

recently when were talking he was online in facebook and asked me why I wear only studs in my ear and not hangings .. he also ponted out one pic in which im wearing hangings and said that I look good in that pic ..

And today in our conversation he said I have a nice smile .. I thought he was being sarcastic and said OOOH .. he said what OOh .. I said you were sarcastic so was I .. he said im not being sarcastic .. you really have a nice smile .. :)

what I dont understand is why would he say all this .. does this mean something ?? or is this something usual for guys ..

everday I wanna tell him how much I love him and wanna be with him .. but i just dont say in fear of hurting his feelings and risking what I already have ..

View related questions: different countries, facebook, text, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011):

hey Abella .. Thank U so much for ur answer ..

if at all he has any feelings, he is hiding them only cos of his family ..

he told me that he ll marry the girl his parents choose coz he doesnt wanna hurt them ..

Im fine with waiting .. but I dont have much time .. his Mom is very keen on getting him married by the end of this year :(

but as I already told him I like him and he said he ll never feel tht way for me .. is there a possibility he can develop feelings ? .. or he just has not realised it yet .. do guys deny their feelings ? ..

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (16 March 2011):

Abella agony auntyes he does feel comfortable around you.

He may even like you too, as he has noticed things about you.

And he has been doing things to fix things. Doing thing to fix things is what non-demonstrative guys do, to show that they like you. Just enjoy the

you do not have to say anymore about liking him. He DOES Know that you like him. Guys enjoy speaking to gals (where the guy know she likes him)

But he is not ramping up the attention too much. He is being more tentative.

You decide:

is it because he lacks confidence talking to gals?

Or has his family already picked out a girl for him?

Or does he already have in mind a gal

nearer to where he works?

Be pleased that he is talking to you, and regularly. Maybe he just wants to be surer of himself with you before he tries to progress the relationship?

Be patient, give him another six months of him proceeding gently

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