A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of four months recently told me he was still a virgin at 26, (he told me at Christmastime) I was shocked, but I told him it didn't matter because it wasn't that uncommon. We talked about it and he told me the reason why he has never slept with anyone is purely because he believes it should be with someone who means something to you and not just anyone so you can say you have lost your virginity. He isn't religious at all so I found the reason a surprise but it was a nice surprise. Last week we were kissing and one thing lead to another and we slept together. It was great, in all my life I finally felt like sex meant more then getting your rocks off and it made us feel stronger as couple. Then I made a huge mistake by telling my friend that we had finally slept together. I didn't tell her he was a virgin before that, she worked it out herself and I didn't deny it, even if I should have. When we went out with friends during the week, my friend's boyfriend made a big deal about it and really embarrassed us both. Now my boyfriend is so angry and upset with me that he thinks I thought it was all one big joke. I have spoken to my friend and she is sorry for her boyfriend's behavior but my boyfriend won't accept it. He is barely talking to me now and I feel like there is nothing I can do to make things better. I love him, even after such a short time I honestly love him and I want to make this right. Help?
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (24 March 2014):
 You've already pleaded your case and said what you needed to say so all you can do at this point is let time do the rest.
Your boyfriend has every right to be angry and to question his trust in you. So give him the time and space to do that and allow him to decide whether or not he wants to continue with you.
His trust in you isn't the only thing worth questioning. You now know that your friend is a transmitter and you must assume that everything you tell her is passed on to her boyfriend, regardless of whatever assurances she gives you. Remember that in your future dealings with her.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 March 2014):
 Wow, you REALLY put your foot in your mouth there. I also get why he is upset. Making him feel like sleeping with him was some kind of joke. My guess is he was already a little sensitive when i comes to HIS virginity.
There are thing you can SHARE with a friend, and then there are thing you NEED to keep to yourself. Things your BF shares with you.
And I agree, YOU are the one who broke his trust, who passed on intimate PRIVATE knowledge, therefore YOU are the one who owes him an apology.
Apologize and ask him what you can do to make it up to him.
And your best friends BF is a douche. I mean SERIOUSLY what is wrong in a guy waiting for the right girl before having sex?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2014):
To be fair, I can see why your boyfriend is angry. It obviously meant a lot to him to be with the right person, and that person was you. And then you told your friend about it and in a sense you broke a part of that trust, especially since you didn't at the last stop your friend from making guesses or deny it and it all went public with this idiot friend and her idiot boyfriend. If my girlfriend had done something like that and her friends boyfriend had publicly embarrassed me, I would also be angry, and would possibly consider that it was a joke and it was all a laugh. I think more than anything, I'd see it as a lack of respect, to know that my laundry was being aired in public.
You say that the friend has apologized for her boyfriend's behavior. But it's not her who should be there apologizing. It's you, for initially telling this friend. You're the one who needs to be telling him that it was a mistake to tell her, and that it won't happen again. Clearly there's nothing wrong with talking about certain things, but obviously sex was something private to your boyfriend and you should have respected that. Just keep saying you're sorry, keep talking to him and give him time. Hopefully, he'll cool off a bit and calm down and you'll be able to talk.
Word to the wise though, you might have a problem with getting your boyfriend to see this friend and boyfriend.
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