A
female
age
41-50,
*rownEyedSweetie12
writes:I had an affair with a married man. About a year ago we started hanging out and a kiss led to touching, and touching led to sex. We had sex 3 different times and hung out from time to time after that. I have not seen him in about 9 months and then just the other day his wife hacked into his facebook and posted that he cheated on her with me for the whole world to see. I have no idea how she found out and I am scared to death of my reputation being ruined. I feel so guilty and horrible, beyond words. What should I do??????
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affair, facebook, married man Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): You are not going to like my response. Where was your reputation when you were spreading it for this womans husband. Did you not think of the repercussions of your affair, seems like you did not give much of a damn that he was married. Yet now you are crying wolf because you were found out. You hoped that no one would find out that you were stealing from this woman. You hoped that no one would find out what you were really up to. What has this woman done that is so wrong. Has she lied? Has she spoken ill about you. In fact her discovery of you and her hb hit her for six, didn’t it? put yourself in your ex lovers wife’s hoes. Not a pretty place to be, is it. you had sex with her hubby, enjoyed yourself, not thinking of his his wife and kids and then went on with your life, not caring of the damage you did to his marriage. Yes, it was fun to be with her hb, you never thought you would get caught. BUT YOU DID. Now all you have to do is weather the storm and trust that you have learnt from your affair. Married men are bad news, i think in your case the married mans wife is worse news to you. Kudos to her for having the balls to out you as the other woman. Lets now hope that she gets her hb to pay dearly for his affair with you. Revenge is sweet when done right. Please in future stay away from married men. Have a tad bit of respect for yourself. When you get that itch again rather masturbate than have a married man in you. You may end up with much more than you bargained for!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): The whole world SHOULD SEE because I, the OW am the VICTIM defending myself! I has been 6 months since I found out and I'm so hurt I can't see straight! Why would ANYONE KNOWINGLY SAY YES TO A MARRIED MAN? Skanky! Un-Christian; un-concerned about the VOWS the Husband & Wife took before GOD! This is the WORST THING anyone can do to another human being! Especially from one girl to another!! Put yourself in my SHOES; how would you like someone to say YES to your HUSBAND someday? It will happen because what goes around comes around and that's what kind of person YOU ARE NOW! You have become an ADULTERER! Just like HIM; IT TAKES 2! Do the math!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): I am the OW and your reputation SHOULD be ruined because of saying YES to a MARRIED MAN!
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A
female
reader, BrownEyedSweetie12 +, writes (31 December 2009):
BrownEyedSweetie12 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou honestly don't think she is not just planning her revenge? my friends are telling me that there is a silence before the storm and since she has not contacted me in a week, she is getting ready to really publicly humilate me or do something really bad to expose me. I know that no one thinks I feel bad about what I did, but I broke down in tears driving home from work tonight just thinking about the damage I had done. I mean, I should have called him an asshole and pushed him off me, but I didnt. If I had, then another woman would have been the trashy one with no disregard for ones wife... : (
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A
female
reader, BrownEyedSweetie12 +, writes (30 December 2009):
BrownEyedSweetie12 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont WANT him to contact me. I just think it's odd that he hasn't. Either to apologize or to tell me what went down. That is all. Like I said, I am worried for my safety at this point. And regardless of what you are think, I do feel terrible about what I did and feel so bad for the wife. I am a horrible person. I know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Uhmm... Why would he want to contact you? You should not be wondering eithe.
MOVE ON...... Leave married men alone.
Chellex
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 Why would he contact you? You already had not seen him for 9 months before he got busted - you were not a priority before, I doubt you will suddenly become one now that he is paying with the loss of his wife for what was in the end, just a few fucks.
I am sure he is in a corner somewhere licking his wounds and shaking his head with regret.
If your rep matters that much to you tho, then don't do things to harm it, ... and if you do, well suck it up and don't complain, ... after all it is nothing much compared to what the other party brought upon himself. Is It? Certainly nothing on what the wife must be feeling either! You are the one who got out of this lightly!
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A
female
reader, BrownEyedSweetie12 +, writes (29 December 2009):
BrownEyedSweetie12 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me tell you some more facts..
The last time I heard from the wife was about a week ago. Since I told her to stop contacting me or else I would file charges for harassment, I have not heard anything else from her. I did delete him from my facebook. I also notice that she deleted him and has left him. I am curious as to why this jerk has not contacted me. And what I am wondering if why I have not heard anything else about all this is almost a week. My friend says its the "calm before the storm" that something really bad is about to surface and happen. Any thoughts?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (29 December 2009):
 The answer is the same whether you shop this question on other sites(which you did) or here, young lady. and the answer is the same. The only difference is that you left the particulars out that you did not on another site, possibly tailoring this to get a more favorable response. Good Luck with that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):
Nothing....Do absolutely nothing. You have learnt from your bad choice and have moved on .Delete him from your face book and move on. Forgive yourself.
Chellex
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): This will one day come back again to haunt you! You should have never slept with a married man! You have no idea what you have done! I was the wife that the husband cheated on! I left him because of it! It totally messed my life up! This woman that slept with my husband knew he was married!! I pray every day that karma will get them both! So look behind you! Karma is coming to get you!!!
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A
female
reader, BrownEyedSweetie12 +, writes (29 December 2009):
BrownEyedSweetie12 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I am worried about her physically harming me. Should I get PPO or only if the harassing emails or texts start again? And thank you for not being too cruel to me. I am very aware of the mess I caused.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Write her and apologize. Tell her what you told us... that you feel horrible and guilty and wish you could take it back.
But don't ask her to protect your reputation, you took that risk when you slept with her husband. Just be sincere and let it go.
If anyone confronts you, just say the same thing... "it was a terrible mistake, I wish I could take back, I am sorry she is hurting." Don't slam her or get nasty.
She is dealing with an incredible amount of pain, just let her do what she has to do to get through... she was betrayed by the person who promised to love her and protect her above all others...she might not be okay for a very long time.
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (28 December 2009):
"You made your bed, now lay in it"
No pity over on this side of town
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 that's a crappy situation, maybe try calling the man that you had a affair... ask him.Try remebering, you didn't do photos,videos etc...
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