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Online dating. Is me asking her when we will get together a bad thing? She will not give me a solid answer

Tagged as: Family, Online dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2015)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been in a online relationship for quite sometime now and I wont say it has been easy, I have made a few mistakes and put our trust on thin ice so she has a hard time trusting me.

We have been working on this together very diligently and during this time her dad became ill and I keep feeling that we need to get together and she says we will but she has a lot going on with her dads illness

I know these things are true as I have talked to her sister about some of these things as well and she has told me she feels bad for me because of the way she is treating me I feel like I am really dedicated to this relationship and I would do anything for her except send money over.

I am in love I am not stupid.

Is me asking her when we will get together a bad thing? even though she is working on the trust issue with me and the fact she is helping out with her father, she wont give me a solid answer, but says soon

View related questions: her ex, money

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 August 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIF you have never met face to face and it's more than 6 months then it's really a NON relationship and you need to realize it's a time waster for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2015):

It sounds like she has a lot on her plate. Woman are programed different than men. She is telling you without telling you, not right now... Her dad is sick, she is very dedicated to being their for her family.. My advice is to be patient, time away makes the heart grow fonder...

Give her space but not too much space, let her know you are patient.

Place it in her hands when she is ready to meet..

If she is asking for money, or stuff - my advice is move forward.

If she is just there being there and it seems like she is excited to hear from you and wants to build upon it- listen to my advice above.

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2015):

You don't say how long but assuming its been a while, you have trust issues with someone you haven't even met yet?! That alone would put me off continuing with this 'online relationship'. Also if someone wants to meet you they make the effort, if it hasent happened yet you might be wasting your time.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (31 August 2015):

MSA agony auntTo be honest, until you have met her IN PERSON.. I think to say that you 'love' her is a bit too soon.

You don't know who and how she is in the real.. just as she does not know you.

You can talk to someone for a long time online, they can tell you anything.. but until you've met, you still won't know what the real deal is.

Also I don't blame her for taking it slow.. you lost her trust while being in an online relationship. If a guy made me feel he is untrustworthy while talking to him online.. I would be very cautious about meeting and being with him in person.

Give her the time she needs.

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A female reader, happyocean United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2015):

You say that you would do anything for your relationship with this woman except send her money. Does that mean that she has asked you for money? If so take caution and have a think about what her motives could be.

This lady could be refusing to meet for many reasons, It is feasible that she hasn't been 100% honest with you and so feels like she can't meet you in person. Then again it is just as likely that she could just be scared, nervous or worried.

Perhaps you could ask her to meet you somewhere public along with her sister, this may make her feel more at ease. However if she continues to refuse to meet up, you have to ask yourself one question...

Are you happy for this relationship to continue online having no idea if you will ever see this lady in the flesh? If not then you maybe it is time to call it a day.

I hope that things work out for you, one way or the other.

Good luck

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