A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi people... I split up with my boyfriend of 2 years on the weekend. He broke it off with me over an argument we had. I've posted questions on here a couple of times since and just need some advice now on how to deal with the situation now I understand clear why he has split up with me. I have trust issues, they have come from a previous relationship where my ex cheated on me and had a baby with someone else. Anyway, that has always played with my head and my brain sometimes tricks me into thinking negative things. I suppose you could call if anxiety. I have never spoken to anyone about these problems other than my boyfriend, he knows everything and why I act the way I do sometimes. I met his mum last night and we spoke, she made me understand clear as water that he has split from me over my trust issues, he simply had enough! He announced a few weeks ago that he is going on holiday with his friends and it hurt me, I was so upset'I have now come round to the idea and understand I have to let him spread his wings to be happy! I think he feels I controlled him a little bit through my anxiety problems.. We lived together and we're together for 2 years and a bit... I collected all my stuff from his house yesterday and gave the key back. It officially is over... The thing is now this has happened I see that I have been stupid, I love him with everything I have.. I'm going to seek help from professionals to help me get through my trust and anxiety problems... It has really ruined my life. I don't wanna give up on him, he means everything to me and the funny thing is I know deep down he would have never done anything to ever hurt me. I just let my mind take over...Should I leave him to his thoughts and try and approach him in the near future? Or should I just let go forever? I believe in us, I believe in him and I know I can fix my issues. Do you think he will be interested in fixing our relationship in the future?
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cheated on me, my ex, on holiday, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 January 2016):
 I have answered a question that you had already. I now see that you met his mother. I am glad you both spoke and cleared the air.
Now lets get to you and your life. I can tell you want nothing more than to be with him, I also know you want nothing more than to be happy and trust him and let him do his own thing.
Your insecurities are based on your past not on your boyfriend. In order for you to move on you need to be on your own at the minute. If you get back together the insecurities will never go. This is your time now. You need to use this time alone to sort out your issues. There might be a chance that he will get back with you in the future but for now you need to work towards healing yourself.
He may have had a rough time in this relationship with all your issues and it is good that he is getting a break away with his friends. This might give him the space he needs to get his head around everything that has happened.
I am glad you are getting professional help, now what you need to do though is tell him your plans. Write him a letter maybe and in the letter tell him you love him, admit you have been wrong in the past. Explain to him that you need time alone now to find yourself and to deal with all your issues, tell him about the help you are seeking out, but also you need to ask him to not contact you through this. Will it be difficult? Yes very but you won't get the help you need if you keep in contact with him.
Once you have got through your journey and you feel that you are in a lot better place then maybe you can contact him. But I suggest no contact between you both for at least three to six months.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (5 January 2016):
 Reconnecting: A Self-Coaching Solution to Revive Your Love Life by Joseph J. Luciani
Read this, not to get him back, to understand how your own insecurities tell you lies that wreck your life.
There are two reasons to let him go forever. One You did hurt him with your distrust. Those memories will forever taint his thoughts about you. And Two a guy who is good long term relationship material doesn't take a mate's vacation for a week. whether that is a symptom of a broken relationship, or just his personality, we will never know. But it is not a good sign.
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