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Now it's hard to trust

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 July 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, *rueLoveWaits2016 writes:

A little while ago I left a guy who tried to control me. After bad dating experiences I had walls up, so I was able to pick up on things that didn't feel right.

The attention was flattering at 1st, but then got emotionally draining, he didn't trust me either despite all the time spent w/him in person, texting and on the phone. I took little break and started dating again, then I met a guy who I have been getting serious w/. Since my 1st love, I truly feel like he is one that I am falling for in a deep way.

All the other guys I went w/, I never had super deep feelings for. This guy makes effort, shows interest and was 1st to ask about getting in a relationship. Is it normal to feel like he will lose interest, that he will just up and leave?

I have learned to not trust because so many have shown interest only to leave me hanging after I show interest.

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A female reader, Miss.Cupid United States +, writes (15 July 2017):

Miss.Cupid agony auntI think you're looking into signs of him leaving too carefully. Relax, go with the flow and see what happens without expecting anything. Don't lose your mind over thinking.

Good Luck.

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A female reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 United States + , writes (14 July 2017):

TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Sometimes he reads my messages, but doesn't respond. Is that a bad thing? We do go out and we do talk on the phone. Just very wary of that behavior.

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A female reader, Miss.Cupid United States +, writes (13 July 2017):

Miss.Cupid agony auntIt is completely normal to feel that way. However, don't let that fear of whether or not he'll walk away ruin something good that may come out of the relationship.

I think fear is normal but don't let it affect you in a way of feeling like you can't open up and let love happen. At the end of the day you'll have guys that break you, tear you apart, emotionally drain you, and you'll feel heartless and numb. But then theres also guys that will love you, cherish you, care for you and love you. One bad relationship experience doesn't mean it'll always be bad. Don't let what the last guy did affect how you react to a possible new one.

Good luck

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (12 July 2017):

janniepeg agony auntIt's very normal to feel like you do. Here trust has a few meanings. Despite what happened to you in the past, you still need to respect your partner. You have boundaries in a relationship, at the same time you need to give them space to breathe. Trust can be a verb. You trust them so you won't snoop through the phone or demand explanations of where they've been if they can't text quickly enough. After a while, trust is a noun. It's a state of mind, a satisfying feeling that you feel safe in a relationship. Most people don't fall into this state before years into a solid relationship. Some never do because we are lively beings and there will always be room to do the unpredictable. The ultimate trust is that we will survive heartbreaks and that whatever happens in life, we move on and become better people. If you can get to that state, then nothing would shake you anymore.

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