A
male
age
30-35,
*Don'tKnow
writes:So, here's the deal. There is this guy I work with that I am crushing bad over. We've known each other for going on 3 years and have always gotten along. He's had girlfriends, but I've always thought they were for cover. Then after he broke up with the last one, I found a video on this website (XTube) that featured a guy that looked EXACTLY like him...never got to see the video as it was quickly taken down, almost like he changed his mind. I've never asked him because I don't want to reveal myself to him, because I'm afraid he'd be one of those "Dude, get away from me!" people and I don't want to ruin the friendship.However, over the past couple of months, something seems to have changed between us. Hell, even a girl at work said we seem to have a "Bromance." I mentioned that to him the other day and he was like "Yea, I guess we do!" We even gave each other nicknames. Our conversations have seemed to get more and more, I don't know, "Gay" as the months have passed. I'll say things like "I only talk to you because of your good looks" and he'll just smile and laugh. Things like that.Then last night, we're talking on Facebook and it's late, like 2am. He says he's tired and wants to go to bed, but we ended up talking for like 10 more minutes. I later sent him a message that basically said "You notice how our converstation have become...um...wierder lately?" He said back "Well, we both know what's really going on, lol!"What in the hell does that mean? Did he just flirt with me? I'm so clueless as to what to do. Someone please help!!
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male
reader, IDon'tKnow +, writes (23 April 2009):
IDon'tKnow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, the video I found (really only saw a screencap) was of him and him alone, and it was on the gay section of the website.
A
male
reader, isaias15 +, writes (23 April 2009):
 so what he's sexualy active, im pretty sure you want to be sexualy active with you ofcourse not on xtube but, c'mon its obvious he likes you and is a big flirt!! trust me im a guy, yes he made a porno mistake but hes human so break out that shell and get your man! youve been waiting 2 2 2 long u know whats going on "HE LIKES YOU" isaias15 out
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A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Hi there,Yes, those certainly sound like interesting developments in the dynamic of your friendship.It could be that he just feels really close with you as a friend. The “bromance” comment may have been quite apt. I’ve known straight guys who term themselves “heterosexual life partners”, and although totally straight, they act openly affectionate with one another. Our society has become hypersensitive toward sexuality in the past few decades, and it loves to apply labels. Everything needs to be put in a little designated box, so to speak.If you are curious about how your friend really feels about you, then only he can tell you the answer. However, your concern about potentially damaging your relationship is quite valid.I suggest you first develop a clear understanding about how he feels toward homosexual people. Being as close as you are, you stand a good shot at being able to get past his integrated macho defences for discussing sensitive topics (IE: brushing them off with a joke) and get to how he really feels. Maybe some night after a few drinks you could mention that you just heard that one of your friends is gay. See what he has to say about it. You could ask if he has ever had any gay friends, or what he thinks about gays in general. Then you can brush off the topic and leave it alone for a while. Depending on his reactions, contemplate the best course of action.If you do decide that you want to let him know about your feelings, even if you don’t think they will necessarily go anywhere, I suggest you do so in a non-confrontational way. What I mean is, don’t put him on the spot or make it seem that you expect any type of response from him. Perhaps you could phrase it along the line of, “I really respect you and you know you’re my best bud. I don’t want to weird-up our friendship or anything, but I have to say that I’ve kind of got a bit of a crush on you. I know it won’t go anywhere, but I just kind of wanted to say it so I would feel better.”That way you’ve voiced your feelings (which in itself can be a cathartic experience) and you’ve left the door open to him later revisiting the topic or pursuing it, if he chooses. However, you’ve also avoided putting him on the spot.In closing, you did not say that you are gay, but that is the presumption I’m working from. If so, than I believe it is important for you to realize that anybody you consider a true ‘friend’ should not be something you need fear abandoning you or hating you for your sexuality.I hope this helps.
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