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No matter how we start... it always ends up "doggie style"! Is he losing interest in me?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi! Any input here will be appreciated. I've been happily married for 5 years and thought we had a pretty good sex life. The problem is....lately my husband seems overly interested in doggy style sex. No matter how we start, it always ends up with him behind me. He says he just wants to do something different and this turns him on. Is it that simple? I keep thinking it's a sign he's losing interest in me because this seems like a more impersonal way to have sex. Like maybe he doesn't want to look at me or kiss me anymore during? I'm I being too insecure here? We aren't having any real problems and he does still come to me for sex often. I just can't help this nagging feeling that he's getting bored with me and just using sex to satisfy a physical need. This is the longest relationship I've ever had so I have nothing to compare it to. Maybe all relationships go through this. Any advice?

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A female reader, CantHelpFallin United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

ah yes the renowned doggie style. at first i too felt this to be impersonal, but actually if you think about it, it's a way that shows just how comfortable you are with each other. when my man is getting tired, i am the one to suggest doggie style--he loves it plus he gets off really fast. if he loves this position, enjoy it with him--think of your favorite position and how much you enjoy it--this is how he feels. doggie style is fun and challenging in some ways, which takes it to a new level. why not trying other doggie styles? you can find new ideas at http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml with 3D animations and explanations so you can see how they are done. there are many styles other than doggie to suggest and try. i found this last night and can't wait to try some of these with my man!! communication is key, so if you still feel as if it's impersonal, just lovingly speak with him about it. maybe during doggie style he can tell you how sexy you look from behind and how the new angles turn him on. good luck to you and let us know how it goes! :)

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A female reader, Curiousbynature United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

Oh Come on. Of course he is still into you. Look at some other issues women have on here and I think you will feel much better about yourself. Guys love doggy style because that is the way they can get the furthest penetration possible. And it’s the easiest for him to do whatever he wants with you. If he still kisses you outside the bedroom and still loves you I would not worry at all. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 6 months and he just loves that position so I let him do it whenever he wants. Plus there are ways for you to enjoy that position, there are! Lean back and get into it, take his thumb in your mouth. You know, play along, he’ll love it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008):

To put things in base terms, he likes the look of your butt and the way your boobs swing around when he's going at it and he likes the rest of the view from that angle. He also likes the sensations he's getting because it feels rather different to the missionary position, rather more 'free' if you see what I mean.

There's no way he's getting bored with you, in fact I wish my partner had thighs the same length as mine.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi, it may just be a phase he's going through, and currently finds it very exciting. I expect it'll lose some of its newness soon and there'll be other positions to explore. I'd mix it up a bit with him, if I were you, take charge a bit and YOU get to decide how things are going to go in bed. And then be very creative and spontaneous.

Don't let this damage your self-esteem, it's really not likely that he's gone off sex with you at all! After all, he IS still interested, isn't he?

If it's really bugging you after a while, then it's time to have a gentle and loving discussion about your feeling that this style of sex is rather impersonal. If he makes you feel loved in all other aspects of your life, I think you'll be fine. If it's part of a broader pattern developing, time to discuss it, and recharge the passion batteries that drew you together in the first place.

Good luck.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (24 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntDoggy style is just another position and it doesn't have to be "impersonal", no more then say reverse cowgirl. He can use his hands on your entire body, and lips on your back and possible neck maybe even face is you both are agile enough.

Do you try different things? Does he insist? Is there touching before and after?

Saying that just because of a preference for one position means he is losing interest is a bit much, surely if what you fear is really happening there should be other signs as well.

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A female reader, redsox07 United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

i think you are way over thinking things. Its just a position, and its new so its exciting. dont worry

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