A
male
age
36-40,
*nclezak
writes:Hi,I suffer from premature ejaculation and hence find sex a bit crap. My wife and I are very stressed out with work/non sleeping kids/studies and we get to make love max once a week. However, I find it an anti climax as I only last so long in the act.I have never masturbated due to religious beliefs but have tried recently, but still find it difficult to maintain an erection whilst masturbating. The feeling of my wife's hand/mouth or something better is nowhere near as good as my hand even with lube.I'm at a loss and though I constantly think of sex, I must admit that I kinda hate it too cos it's over too darn quick! I always make sure my wife orgasms and take great pleasure in her orgasms as they look friggin amazing, as these rare moments are when I see her let loose and out of control!I have seen a sex therapist to little avail and have tried asking my wife to masturbate me but she often doesn't have the energy to try the stop start method for 15 mins as advised whereas she can get me to cum in under a minute using lube!Any advice?Thanks,Zak
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Thanks for your reply. When you're kegeling you're strengthening your pelvic floor/PC muscles which has many benefits including stopping premature ejaculation and increasing stamina. Just Google "Kegel exercises for men" and browse around the information that's provided. In addition, you have to change your mindset. By saying you don't see how your situation can change at the moment is not helping. You have to think more positive. I can tell you right now that the way you think plays a role in your performance and love life. Try to think differently and focus on making your relationship overall better and more satisfying. Best Wishes!
A
male
reader, unclezak +, writes (27 April 2012):
unclezak is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Daniel and Honesty.
How can the kegels improve stamina?
I don't see our situtation changing much atm to be honest.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (26 April 2012):
I agree with a lot of what Aunt Honesty has said. I would also recommend that you spice up the environment. In other words, put yourself in a space where you'll be mentally ready for lovemaking with your wife. Play soft music, use candles, do a lot of foreplay. You should also change positions often.. just to switch things up. And by the way, if you're doing doggystyle or missionary, you have better control over tempo and your timing of ejaculation, as opposed to say... her riding you. I also think the fact that you're stressed and you and your wife are only intimate once a week, plays a role in your erection quality/level of excitement. You both need to find a way to be intimate (if possible) more often. And besides the start/stop method, I would recommend that you try Kegeling. (if you need more information on this let me know). By doing kegels you can potentially improve your stamina- and reduce (or eliminate) your episodes of premature ejaculation.Here is an article you can reference....http://www.dearcupid.org/question/guys-what-to-do-if-youre-suffering-from.htmlBest of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 I think the best method to keep practising is to keep stopping and starting, I know it can take up some energy but it is the best way for a better outcome. When having sex try not to worry or stress about ejaculating quick, also try put your mind on other things that are not sexual that way you might last longer. However this is a common problem and as long as you are both showing each other a lot of attention other ways then this can make up for sex itself.
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