A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I really need to know what to do when my wife of 37 yrs. say she is not interested in sex anymore.I am 57 yrs and she is 51yrs.
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male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (24 January 2014):
 It can be a lot of things.
1. Menopause.
2. She is cheating on you.
3. She is dissatisfied of her/your look.
4. She or you (or both) have developed a funny smell (sorry but it's frequent with age).
5. She has too many worries in head, stress is a passion killed as one knows.
6. She has recently developed a strong religious sense, for instance following the death of a relative.
7. She can't move as before, pain in the back or hemorrhoids are too love killers.
And so on. I guess we could reach a #20 or 30 without more informations about your case. Anyway, good luck to you !
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 You got married when she was 14 years old? Wow.
I agree that menopause may be the cause. But we don't know much about how the marriage has been.
You can suggest that she go see the doctor. Do you see the doctor regularly? Are you taking care of yourself and the relationship?
There simply is not enough to know how to tell you what you need to do.
As a default answer, I could suggest you take her away to a couples week away with spa treatments and all sorts of romantic stuff that might get her relaxed and interested again.
She may not be interested in sex because you smell funny.
Or it hurts when you have sex because she's either not aroused enough or if she is the lubrication has changed.
It could be that the kids are grown and out of the house and she's done.
It could be that she was forced into marriage at too young an age (14?!?!?!) and now, as a menopausal woman, has decided she can speak up for herself.
There simply is not enough to go on here.
Do you have any more detail?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): After she gets a checkup. If the issues can be resolved through hormonal therapy and a prescription of the lady's equivalent to Viagra; take her on a romantic vacation, and spend some time together to renew your feelings for each other.
Kiss her. Hold her hand. Stroke her back and touch her hair, just like you used to. Sit close to her when you're on the couch. Fetch her a glass of wine. Take her out dancing once in awhile. Tell her she's pretty. Surprise her with a bunch of flowers for no reason.
Women freeze up for more than just going through menopause.
You may not only be in a rut in the bedroom; but your wife may be feeling under-appreciated.
Life may be getting too routine; and you're just sitting around watching each other get old. You have to get back into her mind and her heart; not just her pants.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 January 2014):
 IF NOTHING else has changed... if there is no trauma physical or emotional, if your marriage is on solid ground and you are not "demanding" sex from her hourly or every other hour.. then I too will concur that it may be menopause.
MANY women find intercourse uncomfortable with the changes that menopause brings.. the vaginal walls thin and lubrication stops. SEX HURTS for some women in menopause (they have drugs for that now I have seen the new ads on TV)
If she is not seeing her GYN regularly then she needs to do so... a GOOD gyn will ASK how sex is... and if there are issues.... if not it's rather incumbent on her to talk to the doctor about it.
Loss of LIBIDO is NORMAL at our age... IGNORING It is no longer needed nor should it be acceptable.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 January 2014):
 I concur with Eyeswideopen. In the absence of any deep-seeded marital issues, this is a menopause thing. Hormone replacement therapy works wonders as well as any therapy for any possible other hormonal imbalance.
Don't despair! There is only an upside to both of you if she remains openminded. She could possibly be feeling depression as well regarding her advancement in age. Stick with her and if both of you treat this as an adversity that both of you team up to solve, it'll be much easier than if you present it as HER having a problem and HER needing to change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): Try romancing her. Go back and recreate the feel and emotions from the time when you were dating when it was exciting to go out and be together - or times from early in marriage when things were hot.
Also talk to her about loss of libido and may require change in foods, excersise, perhaps some supplements.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 January 2014):
 One word...menopause. She needs to make an appointment with her GYN Dr. and tell him her symptoms. There is medication that can help with her libido. Sex during and after menopause can be better than before, trust me, but some women need a little help with their libido during the onset of menopause.
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