A
male
age
51-59,
*ancouver2008
writes:I've been married now for over five years. My wife and I have a great sexual relationship with some of the best sex I have every had. There are two things that I'm having trouble speaking to her about. My wife leaves her pubic hair ungroomed. I trim and shave myself and prefer the shaved look. I've dropped hints about what I like. She's trimmed a couple of time but usually leaves it naturally growing. I'm worried about hurting her feelings if I say anything. The last thing that I want to do is to make her feel bad about herself. The other thing that I've been trying to talk to her about is that anytime I try to give her oral sex she stops me. No explaination as to why. Leaving me guessing what the problem is.
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 When in doubt, spit it out! Just ask her to neaten things up, it's not as if you're asking for a complete Brazil wax! Just say it, but nicely. "Hey, honey, I'd like to ask you to do something for me without hurting your feelings, k?..I'd really like it if you'd..
As for the oral sex issue, just say that, too. "I really like.." etc. Both are very personally-specific issues, could be she has some sort of self-consciousness in either matter. Could be she doesn't see it as a necessary practice. Could be it's a non-issue to her and you're concerned about nothing. Whatever the case: Be honest and straightforward about both. And Cindy's right-some men just don't have a clue! Ask her if you're doing it right or not.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I think you need to just talk to her about these things. Don't hint about the pubic thing, just ask her to trim. To ensure she doesn't feel like you're attacking her, offer to do the same. As for the oral sex, just tell her you really enjoy doing it, but you're wondering why she doesn't seem to want to receive. You just need to talk about it!
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I can honestly say that I detest my boyfriend giving me oral. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I tend to get put off continuing with sex. She probably has issues similar to me, in that she feels uncomfortable with it. And no matter how many times you try get her to enjoy it, she wont!As for the shaving part, I dont know about guys, but if a woman shaves it is itchy, sometimes a little sore, and the only way to get the natural look more "polished" is by waxing. Perhaps book her into a spa for the day and get her a little more "polished" for you. Then when she is home and you are making love, you can tell her how it turns you on, etc etc. You may have to increase your visa credit limit because of all the waxing sessions she will want to have, but its either that, or all natural.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (3 May 2010):
 If she doesn't want oral sex, then she doesn't want it. Some women just really hate it (can't imagine why personally.) Has she ever tried it before? If not then try and make a deal for her to try it just once, as it's only fair. But if she still doesn't like it then you can't force her into it.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 She has her inhibitions about oral sex. It could be some past sexual traumas or she was brought up with the notion that is is dirty and unclean or on some religious grounds.You need to respect and understand her decisions and preferences. Everyone is unique and may not think alike.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Rather than just dropping hints,tell her : You know, I think that you'd look really hot if... But if she does not want, do not insist. She is entitled to her grooming preferences exactly like you have yours.
As for the oral sex thing,pls. don't hate me :), but- maybe you are not doing it right (Some men just don't have a clue ) :Eat some humble pie, tell her you'd love to pleasure her in this way and ask her to guide you through the motions and let you know exactly what works for her. Again, if she's not into it,she's not. Not every woman likes the same sexual practices.
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