A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here goes, I'm 22 years old and have been in an on off relationship for a year and half. My boyfriend is ten years older and has a child, none of this bothers me but I have not yet told my parents about him because they come from a well to do background and he comes from a more lower class background so I am worried they won't aprove. We have had many bumpy roads in our relationship as he has a bad past, we have broken up many times because he has lied to me and kept secrets, one secret in paticular is that he thought he had another son, he lied to me for a year but finally told me as he said the guilt got too much. He said he didn't want to lose me so kept it to himself, we have however found out that the boy was not his and I can honestly say after months of working at it we are stronger then ever. I am not saying that all our problems are down to him because they certaintly are not. I have a big problem trusting people espically guys as there was a lot of cheating in my family so deep down I have this impression that every guy will cheat so I kinda keep him at arms length!! I know I probably sound like a teenager with a crush but I genuinely love him, I have tried to end it and move on but I can't and I know that he loves me too. I have met his family and they can't believe how much I have changed him, they say he's much calmer and happier then he ever was.My sister has found out about his past from a concerned friend and she is urging me to end it because as she said "he's a scumbag that will mess you about" but I know him and I know he would never do anything to hurt me.All this has made me so unhappy so much so that I can't sleep or eat, I hope I explained this problem properly and someone out there could help me figure out this mess thanks xx
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male
reader, mia07  +, writes (1 August 2009):
I was on the same situation... I dated this guy from work he was 9 yrs older than me (im 19) he has two kids with two diff. girls and at the beginning we kept it from my parents. We later on decided to tell them and they were very unhappy and disaproved the relationship. I did everything I could to save what we had I even lied to my parents about not being with him. Well time passed he came to my house and spoke to my parents after that they were ok with him. I later found out that he had been lying to me about his past ( he told me he could not see his kids..but he was seeing them the whole time he was with me behind my back btw if he had been honest about it I wouldnt mind I mean I know he has to see them but why lie to me??) I found out by myself which made me very angry and I decided to leave him.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 March 2009):
Gosh, if that one comment from your sister has stopped you from sleeping and eating, then you are either a nervous wreck, or you must have had a pretty chilled out life so far and this is the first real issue you've had to face.
Either way, not good.
Your sister is just looking out for you! What would you say to her if a friend told you she was secretly seeing a guy with a kid, was too ashamed to tell anyone, and they've been breaking up and rowing all the time. You'd tell her that she can do better and to leave him.
On paper, your guy is not great, you have to admit that.
So it's only natural that she wants to find a "better" guy for you.
What you have to do is let her meet your guy and then she can see what you see, that he really loves you and treats you well and makes you happy.
Good Luck!! xx
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