A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went back to school to finish my degree last year and had attraction/chemistry with a professor. He'd always ask my opinion about the class and we'd talk about life, work, etc in office hours. At first, I thought it was because I was older, but his attention on me was pretty intense/romantic. He'd always look at me with this kind of admiration. Since I've finished my degree and need a letter of rec., I asked him. Yesterday I went to his office and he looked me up and down and stared at my legs. He is married. Why would he intentionally stare at my legs in front of me? Is he signaling to me? The attraction/tension was even worse after this. Please don't say "he's married... " I want to know why he was so nonchalant about staring Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2017): The last female anon's answer could not have been more perfect.
Listen to her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2017): I may sound harsh but you need to hear the truth. He's a PIG who does this to ALL women. Make no mistake. YOU are NOT the only girl he OGLES this way. He has made a CAREER out of it! And USES his career for easy pickings!!Think you are special or beautiful to him? Think again, sweetie. Every girl who reciprocates his cheap, whorish attention is special and beautiful to him.I've been around a lot longer than you (almost 50 years) and I KNOW HIS TYPE. I see it over and over again. Once you get to become my age, you always laugh to yourself when you see these pathetic losers (a.k.a PLAYERS) in action. Been there, done that!WHY does he do it? Because he is an egotistical, self centred PIG who thinks he is entitled to do what he wants, whenever he wants.He has let his position of authority go to his head. AND not only this, but he is absolutely ABUSING IT severely.He is very careful not to cross lines physically but emotionally he is really laying it on, isn't he? Like a dog in heat. He is manipulating you. Thinks he can. You are young and impressionable or that is what he hopes. But you aren't, are you? That is why you are here. To take the good advice of more experienced people, like me, who know how this will all go down. And to try to steer you away from this train wreck in the making.Technically, he is still in the wrong if he made a move on you. WRONG. He is in a position of authority and his job would be on the line if he so much as stepped over it with you. Also, it is morally wrong and not to mention especially because the man already has a WIFE and possibly kids. A woman he committed his life to. A woman who loves him. And would be very hurt by having you come in and become his tart on the side. Are you worth more than that? YES YOU ARE. Now, tell that to yourself.He has not crossed any lines YET. But he is perhaps hoping to. If you make a move. He is trying to signal that he wants to perhaps have sex with you. That is all it would ever be. Then he would turn around and say sorry, it was all a mistake. I should not be doing this. And walk away. He would use you if you let him. He would use any other young woman sexually IF they gave him the green light. I can guarantee you that. He has done this sort of thing before. Of that I am certain. Maybe he has had a few on his string in the past. He likes the attention and adoration from young girls. Makes him feel powerful, virile, alive and sexual. So, even if he is not angling for a quick fuck (or two), he definitely likes to dance the dance and play the game, for the benefit of his HUMUNGOUS EGO. But guys like this deep down are pussies with low self esteem and insecurity issues. They mask it by over compensating by their act of sexual prowess and confidence. Deep down, they are just weak, little cowards who lack morals, a conscience, character, empathy, a sense of right and wrong, and lack professionalism and self discipline. With all these HUGE exes against him, why would you even bother giving this creep a second thought? You sound like a smart girl!When he agreed to sign that rec letter, he was likely not doing it out of the goodness of his heart.Your parents should have taught you to stay away from poisonous snakes or you will get bitten.This guy is a SNAKE from top to bottom. Once he has wounded you, killed your spirit, he will slither away, happy, emotionless, without giving you a second thought. He got what he came for. You are young and have your whole future ahead of you. Concentrate on your career path and your family and friends. Perhaps seek activities/interests which build your own self esteem, so that you will not need to rely on a man's attention to make you feel special or attractive.You are worthy all on your own.WITHOUT his approval or interest in you.A part of you likes it. Yeah, I get it. But he ain't the only guy on the planet!! And he is an asshole to boot!! Keep going this way, and you are going down a very dangerous road. Stop now and turn around. It is not too late.Do not for a second be flattered by him. He is being DISRESPECTFUL to not only YOU but to his WIFE and FAMILY. Take a good, hard look at his character, and you will see that this guy is nothing but BAD NEWS!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 August 2017):
 How does it matter? You're done with your studies and are on your way out. You have nothing more to do with him unless of course you're interested in him too... Are you?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (23 August 2017):
 Being married does not make him blind to the attractiveness of others. If you have been making time to chat with him, he probably thinks the attraction is mutual. From your post, I am guessing it probably is and that there has been flirting going on on both sides.
To answer your question, he did it because (1) he CAN, (2) he is probably looking for a bit on the side and (3) he thinks you are up for it so is not bothering to hide what he thinks.
How you choose to handle this is up to you but, if you do take it further, be aware that he will drop you like a hot potato when (not if) his wife finds out and, even if you were to form a relationship, you will never trust him. Over to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 August 2017):
 "I want to know why he was so nonchalant about staring"
Is his wife there? Did you tell him:"my face is up here, Buddy"
My guess is no on both accounts, so he does his lecherous older guy thing and ogles you. He probably knows that YOU wanted a NICE recommendation and thus would "suck up" the lack of manners.
So why does he do it? Because he has no manners or class.
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