A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 11 years and we now have three children together. Recently he has started to hit me [once causing a black eye]. He says its because when we argue.I won't back down and resort to tears which makes him angry. Because of this I guess I forgive him (for the kids sake.). Should I leave him? I've become increasingly depressed but worry about what will happen. I know it sounds selfish but I worry about where I'd live with the children and ever meeting anybody else.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I can tell you where you will live if you don't take action now....in a cemetary!
No man should hit a woman at all unless it is absolutely necessary.....in this case...it is not necessary and totally wrong. make arrangements now to search for a new place to live. Don't worry about whether you will find someone new at this time....for the children's sake....just concentrate on them and yourself in regards to living and shelter. You will in time find someone new....someone better. GET OUT NOW!
BadVoice
Wash.DC
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (28 March 2008):
This man is a total low life and you should leave him as soon as possible. Do not worry about what will happen next or where you will go because in this day and age there really is a lot of support available for mothers in your situation. You do need to get it documented. If you do not want to go to the police at least see your GP each time so he can maintain a medical record.
It will be hard and it will be emotional, but do not even think about staying with him. You deserve better than that.
If you need some moral support I am sure you can message one of us.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): You are teaching your children the wrong thing here lady. is it ok for his to hit you, give you lack eye have you crying scared and depressed? your kids are living with this and don't think they don't see/hear it your kidding yourself. Don't make your kids the excuse not to leave. they should be thr one reason you should leave. You are in the UK there in no excuse there are numerious organisations you can contact not to mention what Dr said about friends/family. get your act together soon or you may not have the choice and your kids will be left not homeless but orphaned as you will be gone and daddy will be in jail cause you forgave him because of the kids!
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (28 March 2008):
 meeting somebody else is the last thought you should be having.
In fact the first and formost thought you need to look at is, How long untill he turns on the kids?
And don't give me that "Oh i know him he wouldn't he loves them too much" bullshit.
Cause he hit you...
you need to call your parents. or a brother or sisterm uncle aunt. friend anyone. i don't care who as long as they ain't your husband. you need to report it to the police so there is a record of the abuse.
You need to be a mother and protect your children.
Forgiving him? WTF? you gonna forgive him when he beats your kids black and blue?
If you can hold your tears back then buck up, get your shit together and find somewhere else to live.
go to the local council. find out what help you can get if you leave him. the job center. everything.
Pick up the phone now and start calling and finding a new place to live and you need to imform the police.
This is no longer about you. this is about the safty and welfair of your children.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): im just abit older than you, i had 3 kids with my ex and was with him 20 years since age 15. my kids are all teenagers now. you should leave him, he will not change it will only get worse. if you have no where to go, go to a womens shelter they will rehouse you and help you. when you leave him your depression should go, you will probably be down for a bit but at least you wont need to worry all the time. trust me im going through it all now. and you will meet someone else but dont think about that now sort yourself out first.
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