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My overweight family keep calling me fat!

Tagged as: Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My family keep caling me fat, My younger sister is at least a stone or two heavier than me (atleast 14lb heavier than me for those who aren't from the uk). My mum is overweight, my dad is overweight and yet all they ever do is call me names like fat and chubby.

I've been trying to diet and I told them I was going to diet and I got laughed at in my face and got told to stop being so stupid because I wasn't fooling anybody.

I keep trying to talk to them but they won't listen, they won't believe that I've cut out junk food and fizzy juice and I am trying to lose weight.

Even when I start making a little progress they turn around and tell me I'm getting bigger and I need bigger clothes because I'm so massive.

I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe it would give them the satisfaction if I didn't eat at all :/

View related questions: lose weight, overweight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2013):

My dad is just like this. He will literally offer me chocolate or something and then yell at me for taking it, saying I will always be fat, I don't need the chocolate etc. Basically some people are bastards, even if they are related to you. Try your best to ignore the idiots and do the best you can to do whatever you need to do to be healthy and happy. Don't fall into the trap of trying to lose weight to please your parents. I did this and I was absolutely miserable, and it took me a long time to get better. Best of luck and take care of yourself

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (6 February 2013):

llifton agony auntsounds to me as though it may be a matter of some sort of jealousy. as in they want to see you fail because they are all over-weight, so they don't want to see you succeed and be thin.

whatever it is, your family is completely out of line. why on earth family members or friends call each other fat is beyond me. it's extremely hurtful and leaves negative self images. why anyone would be so tactless is beyond me.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2013):

k_c100 agony auntIts not going to give them any satisfaction to see you not eating, in fact it will just make it worse - you will be hungry and grumpy so you will annoy them being in a bad mood, and they will also say that you are starving yourself for attention and will be mean to you in a whole new way.

What can you do? Show them that you are serious about this and are losing weight by actually LOSING WEIGHT! You will shut them right up when they see you looking slimmer and your clothes getting bigger.

Talking to them isnt going to work, you have already tried that and they just make fun of you. So actions are going to speak louder than words, so what you need to do is stick to your plan of eating healthier.

Fizzy drinks (even the sugar free ones) are bad for you so that is a great step in not having them anymore, drinking water is best but if you need a bit of flavour then the 'no added sugar' cordials are ok, or green tea. Fruit juice is bad because that is naturally high in sugar so limit that as much as you can.

Junk food is very bad for you and will probably be the biggest of your problems with your weight, so well done for cutting that out too. Stick to lots of freshly cooked food, with meat, veg and a small amount of carbohydrates.

Start exercising if you can, you dont have to join an expensive gym or anything like that - even half an hour of brisk walking every day will make a big difference. If you can manage it try jogging as well, it is free and easy to do, and you can take it at your own speed to make sure you still feel comfortable and are not pushing yourself too hard. If you have the money then you can join a gym, classes at the gym are great for motivating you and making you work harder than you would on your own.

But simple changes to your diet like cutting out fizzy drinks, cutting out junk food, more fresh food and less sugar; combined with regular walking will be more than enough to get your fitter and healthier, and help you to lose weight.

Your family are being like this because they are stuck in their little rut, they are overweight and deep down they are not happy about it, so when they see someone trying to make changes they are secretly wishing they could find the motivation to change too, but instead of being supportive they are acting out of jealousy and trying to bring you down with them. They are at a low point and want to bring you down too, they dont want to see you happy because it will make them realise how unhappy they are.

But the most important thing is DONT LISTEN TO THEM! They are just jealous, you are doing a great thing and taking some important steps towards a long, happy and healthy life. Dont starve yourself, because that wont shut them up and it will be detrimental to your own health. Instead dont waste your time talking to them about health or weight, do this by yourself and shut them up with their nasty comments by showing them the real results when the weight starts coming off.

Good luck!

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2013):

SensitiveBloke agony auntWell done for deciding to lose weight!

The best way to do it is to permanently change your eating habits for good rather than by crash dieting.

Think of it as a long term goal.

There are plenty of healthy eating plans out there, and your doctor can steer you in the right direction too if you start finding it hard.

Your family are being unkind, but use this to motivate you to losing whatever weight you decide you need to.

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