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Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2013)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). Then after a while of no girl noticing me I start thinking eff everybody and start not giving a crap. Then all the sudden a girl will notice me and I'll get too happy. Than I start caring again and girls don't pay attention to me. What is wrong with girls?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOP if you feel the need to define your worth by what others think I strongly encourage you to get some therapy to work on your sense of self and how you define yourself.

Using others to define your worth is never a good plan.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@trancedrythmear- I guess I do seek/need their approval but I don't get why I do so much.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (6 February 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntIts on your end man.

Dont go lookin for girls to notice you.

Are you insecure that you need their approval for somethin? Be the initiator. Make contact. Smile. Approach. It's not hard.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 February 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Nothing is wrong with the girls. If we have to find something wrong, we might as well say , what's wrong with you OP ?. Why do you sit on your butt , and sigh : Oh I hope they'll notice me ... I hope some day my princess will come... - like some sort of male Cinderella ?

How it still works, is that you see someone you may like, and you approach her. Mind you, nothing wrong if the opposite happens , it's just much less frequent, for a lot of reasons. So, while we wait for society / culture / female psychology / habits to change - they do, but slowly- while we wait, you take the initiative and go get them. You are not the forward type ?,not the type to just ask them out point blank ? cool, you can take it slowly, gradually. Start smiling at them, just saying hi, wave a hand , make eye contact, rinse and repeat.. until one day it comes natural and non-threatening approaching one and saying something like " hey I've seen you around so often, your face is so familiar , that it feels weird not knowing your name. I am Jim, and you are... ? " Some will be kind, some a bit less, some will accept you , some will reject you, some will show interest, some indifference or even dislike... hey , that's life. At least you'll have tried !. You can't hope to win the lottery if you don't even buy any ticket !

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntnothing is wrong with girls.....

what's wrong is that you are basing your self-esteem on what others say and do. that's not a good baseline.

for all you know lots of girls think you are cute and don't say anything because even in this day and age women are being raised to be demure and let the guy do the chasing...

Stop defining your worth by what others do.

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