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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm in a long distance relationship. I've noticed that for the past 3 Fridays my boyfriend doesn't contact me at all. He contacts me every other day of the week but nothing on Fridays. Even if it's late at night after a long day or if he was working all day he usually contacts me. But I've noticed a pattern. For the third week in a row he hasn't contacted me on a Friday. Am I being silly and reading into this or do you think I have a legitimate concern, and should I bring it up to him, or not? I'm trying to figure out why this has kept happening. As far as I know he doesn't have anything to do on Fridays that would prevent him from being in touch with me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2020): Long distance relationship could mean many different things. It is only a real relationship if you are committed to each other, have met and have known each other for a good while. If you met online and are just chatting with no meets then it is not really a relationship.
The mistake you are making is putting such a lot of trust and energy into this one man with no idea of whether or not it is worth it. What if you never meet (again)? What if he is seeing someone else and you are devoting yourself to him when to him you are just a dalliance, an amusement when the other one is busy?
If you enjoy going out to nice places and he is a long way away and cannot take you are you happy to go without any of that life? I certainly would not. Never ever trust anyone and put so much into a "relationship" with them until you are sure of them. Even if you were married and living together you should not totally trust the person and be a bit cautious. But this is so far removed from that!
What has this man said about your future? Are there plans to meet or for one of both of you to move? When and if there might be more and something more than just a chat or text? Why does it take so long?
I would also be wary if you have to initiate contact a lot and he only responds rather than initiating it himself. And I would not ask him why he was too busy to contact you, that smacks of being needy and desperate. Far better to act as if you do not care and maybe drop in a few casual hints about how it is just as well that he did not contact you such and such a day as you were busy with such and such a day? What is the point of asking him, why when he can easily lie and it would certainly make him feel very important as if you have no life and need him, as if he is doing you a favour if he contacts you. Not a good idea.
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (10 August 2020):
 OP I think this is very strange behaviour indeed. In this day and age the majority of people have got there phone with them, or its certainly close by.
How long have you been long distance dating him?.
Have you actually met him in person before?.
Could he have started a new job that is Friday, but rolls into Saturday?. But then I'm sure he would have mentioned this during your weekly correspondence.
Could he possibly have another family that he see's at weekends.
You need answers that it seems like you can only obtain during the week.
If you don't get the answers , or he becomes secretive and cagey, then I think you might want to ask yourself if this guy is for you.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (9 August 2020):
You say that he contacts you every day of the week, just not Friday's. So maybe when Friday comes around you should establish contact with him.
We could assume after a long week he might want to chill out and relax. But even doing this, how hard is it to just pick up the phone and make a call, or send a text.
Maybe Friday comes and he goes to see family, or meet his pals?. who knows.
I think communication is key her, just ask his what he does not contact on Fridays and see what he says. What harm can it do.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (8 August 2020):
 Why not just bring it up in the conversation? Or reach out to him and see what happens? Can't you just say something like "Hey John I was just wondering why we never chat on Fridays? Is that your me time?" or something to that affect. Keep it light not accusatory. Good luck!
Long distance relationships are hard (been there done that) and there has to be trust. Its best to talk things over rather than sit and wonder and possibly get the wrong idea about things.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 August 2020):
 How long has this LDR been going on?
And is there a reason he can't have a "day off" so to speak to just "do him" ? I mean I can see taking the Friday off, it's the end of the work week and maybe he JUST wants a day to chill, maybe he feels there will be plenty time to talk over the weekend.
I am also curious if this is a longer LDR are there any plans for him to move closer to you or vice verse?
And I agree with the others, why not CALL him Friday or ASK him Saturday what he was up to?
Why is he the only one initiating contact?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2020): Hi. It's the OP. I should have let you know that I always try to initiate contact. I call and send texts, like every other day. None are answered on Fridays only. I even saw he read my messages yesterday but didn't reply. Usually he doesn't even read them at all on Fridays. And I must also mention he is often out of touch Saturdays as well. I wouldn't consider it worrisome unless it's been happening frequently. 3 weeks in a row has now become a pattern, and I'm worried.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2020): Define the term long-distance relationship. It means you are conducting a romantic-relationship over distance; which means the romantic-connection depends heavily on trust and patience between the committed-couple.
Is there any reason you can't ask him why he hasn't contacted you for the last three Fridays? Did you try to reach him?
Over the years I've found that it was always a good practice to ask my partner questions when I needed to know something. If something changes in our relationship; or if there is something I don't understand. I'll open communication. If he wants to maintain your trust, and give you peace of mind. He will explain. You may feel reluctant to ask, because it may seem to be a little intrusive; but it is better to ask, than to jump to conclusions or hold suspicions. It is something irregular, so it's fair to ask. You've waited patiently for a voluntary explanation that hasn't come.
Do you care to share why you are maintaining a long-distance relationship with this man? How long have you been in this LDR, and when do you plan to actually be together? Were you ever together before distance came between you? Was the relationship established over the internet? Do you travel back and forth to spend time together, or is this relationship entirely over the internet? You'll get better answers if you'd explain the full nature of your relationship, and why you have to be long-distance.
These days people try to conduct a romance entirely over the internet. Depending on social media and messaging as the only means of contact and interaction. They've never actually met in-person; or have met only a few times. It doesn't always workout; because some people find it very hard to adhere to being faithful to a person living in another country, or on another continent; and they rarely get to see each-other.
If Covid-19 restrictions have been lifted where your partner lives; maybe he is now going-out. Contact and communication strictly and only by devices tends to get tiresome, or may not be enough to satisfy the need for human-contact over time.
People have been confined to home for a long-time; and some are finally able to get out and socialize. As long as they carefully and responsibly follow social-distancing guidelines; and wear their masks and medically-approved face coverings in public. They should avoid large gatherings of people in closed-places. Many bars, businesses, and restaurants are forced to close again, in hot-spots of rising virus infections. People are sloppy, irresponsible, and selfish; so it leaves their government-officials no choice, but to tighten restrictions for public-safety. These are necessary measures to stem the spread of the virus. I hope your boyfriend is a responsible person.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (8 August 2020):
 Have you tried being the one to initiate contact? Why don't you contact HIM on Friday, when he doesn't contact you, and just see what happens. If he works all week, perhaps he just wants to "crash and burn" on a Friday night. As someone who works Monday to Friday, I am loath to commit to anything after work on a Friday night, as I usually just go home and chill.
Have you tried asking him on the Saturday what he did the previous day (just while making conversation, not in an interrogation sort of way)? Perhaps he goes out with this work colleagues after work. We can't guess what he does but you are the one in a relationship with him so you should be able to figure out how to find out whether this is anything to worry about or not.
If you speak every day except Friday, perhaps he just wants a day off to do his own thing?
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