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female
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anonymous
writes: I found out a few months ago that my husband of over a year cheated on me at least twice over the summer. I had moved out of our apartment but we sort of reconciled and he acted and talked as if we were back together. He went away on a trip and when he came back I found out that he had cheated on me. I found out last month that he cheated on me again over the summer with a co-worker before the trip ever happened. He also had an extremely suspicious "friendship" with yet another co-worker who has been harassing me through text messages, yet he still talks to her and will not admit to anything. I feel like he used me over the summer and was very good at lying. We talked about all this once but now he refuses to talk about it and says that I should be over everything by now. My question is should I even bother to try and move on from the cheating or is it just a waste of time if he doesn't understand where I'm coming from?
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cheated on me, co-worker, move on, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your advice, I really need it right now. I tried talking to him about it today and he said that he promised to never do it again so I should "hold up my end of the bargain" and not bring it up. He said he knows what i feel like because he was cheated on before, but says that he doesn't dwell on it because its in the past. I know what I have to do and its so hard, but I think i've built up the strength to do what I need to do.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 January 2006):
 Dump the lying, cheating son of a bitch. You've wasted a year but don't waste anymore time on this marriage. He ill never change and you deserve better. Go find it!
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 January 2006):
 A leopard never changes his spots.This husband of yours has no will power when it comes to the opposite sex,he is weak,self centred and self absorbed with himself,he uses women like trophys except he married you.My dear,he has cheated on you twice and has probably done it well before you ever found out.Is he worth it? Well,he doesnt appear to be guilty or upset that he has hurt your feelings,does he love you at all? You have two choices here,1st you either put up with his adultery and hope he doesnt do it again,that means he would have to earn your trust,but i get the impression that he isnt too concerned with that,or the 2nd option is to walk out and leave him.Yes it is a big step to walk out on someone you love,but say he cheats on you for the third time,could you turn a blind eye? Not many would.Think long and hard on what you are willing to put up with,my bet is,this husband of your isnt going to change.
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A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (4 January 2006):
 Your husband has no regards for how you feel. He is a user, a liar and a cheater. There is no limit as to how much time it will take you to heal and to forgive him, when, and if, you are able to do that. This man should be down on his hands and knees begging for your forgiveness, yet he doesnt even seem care to admit to his wrong doings. He expects you to just get over it, like its no big deal. It seems in your best interest to move on.
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A
female
reader, DrumMeOver +, writes (4 January 2006):
 Get the HELL OUT.
It will only hurt you more and make you repeatedly feel used if you allow this to go on. Now it's your turn to call the shots babe, and to stop the pain. Get out.
xo,
KC
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