A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help. My boyfriend and I are in a very serious relationship (We are planning to get engaged soon, he has a ring and everything). And last night when I was leaving his place, I was confronted by an older woman who stated that he has been sleeping her for the last six months. I was obviously blindsided by this information. As we were talking, my boyfriend showed up and asked me to take a walk with him. The two of them argued as we left and she followed us. He claimed that nothing ever happened between them. And he explained where he know her from and that he had stopped associating with her and she came on to him previously. He stated that he never slept with her.Of course, this situation is a surprise to me cuz I'm either with my boyfriend or am in constant contact with him. I don't know who to believe because each of them have parts of their stories I KNOW are lies or just don't add up. It's hard for me to believe that he would sleep with this woman because she is just so different from his type. And most of the information that she stated or provided was information she could have obtained from their mutual acquaintances, facebook, or was just fully false information. And because her story has so many holes, I would be inclined to believe my boyfriend over her. But, I feel like if he is completely innocent in this situation and knew that this lady was 'crazy' and after him; he should have told me. We talk about everything and all of a sudden, you hold information and put me in a situation where I was confronted by an angry stranger, totally embarrassed, and caught off-guard. When if he had told me, I would have expected her, known what to do, and would have just dismissed her and left. I love my boyfriend and really do believe that he loves me. He has NEVER given me a reason to not trust him. He does everything the right way. I've been introduced to his parents, rest of his family, co-workers, friends, etc. everyone knows that we are together and have been together for sometime. We were together when he brought the engagement ring and everything. In my heart, I truly do not think or feel that he cheated (by that I mean had sex with her) on me but, I also do not believe he is telling the whole truth about this woman. Though, (after the confrontation) we talked for over 3 hours and he didn't hesitate to answer every question I asked. He swears that I am the only person on earth that matters to him and he would do anything to make this right. I'm so confused, my heart says he didn't but, my mind is telling me that I'm being incredibly stupid for believing that. I think I'm still in the shock/numb stage...Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): I'd get in touch with this woman (via fb,whatever) and get more of her story. Honestly, guys will sleep with anything, even someone who is not their type. I'd still be suspicious if I were you. Having sex with someone takes minuts. He could say he's with friends and actually be at her house for an hour or two having a quicky...or rather than volunteering being at her place or leaving early. You just don't know. Be careful. The fact that he didn't tell you this was happening, sounds WEIRD...at the very least he doesn't share important information with you, at the most he actually did sleep with her. Look after yourself first hun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, My boyfriend says that he met her last year. Her son attends a youth program that is provided by a community/non-profit organization he is very active in. She helps out a lot with programs and other things within the organization, mostly volunteer work. So, he says that there have been organizing meetings held at her house before. She has met men through helping the organization and continues to help for that sole reason. He states that he had no problem with her previously and they had worked together before on events. The last one in April but, it was always more people with them and apparently she came onto him that time in April and he began distancing himself after that. He says that she started calling and texting him, showing up at fundraising events, etc. trying to talk to him. I asked him why he never told me about this and he says that he was trying to protect me from the drama and from situations just like this one.
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (26 August 2010):
Go with your heart.
BUT!!! Have a long talk with him.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, livefortheweekend  +, writes (26 August 2010):
hi, Your story would be my worst nightmare. So have you any idea why this woman is saying these things? I dont think you will ever find out the truth but if you trust your boyfriend and believe what he is saying then dont think anymore of it and move forward with your life. YOu have to be careful though that it does not keep coming back to haunt you and you constanly bring it up to your boyfriend as this could also cause issues.
I hope everything works out for you x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 August 2010):
I think before we can answer this, we need to know who this woman was and how they met. I would love to say he didn't do it, but I need to know how he met her, who she is and what she said.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 It sounds like your boyfriend is telling you the truth. You have to be cautious though, there are people who make up lies or even worse, force themselves into some sort of a delusion, she may in fact think she slept with your boyfriend (That's a rather drastic assumption but it's always best to be aware of possibilities).
I would trust what your boyfriend says but I'd also be cautious. He sounds like an honest man and you said he didn't hesitate to answer your questions, that's a good sign.
I hope that helps.
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