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My girlfriends relationship with her mum really annoys me, its so childish!!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2007)
A male , anonymous writes:

I really hate my girlfriend and her mums relationship with one another. They are far too close and irritating. Whenever Im round my gfs house I get uncomftable when her mum comes in because they are giggling and jokey and try and embarass me.

Her mum is very childish and acts like a little girl and it gets too much when she is there that I get mad LoL.

Examples would be.

She will start too play fight with my girlfriend and throw water over her in front of me and random silly things like that. When I see my girlfriend doo this she looks sooooooooo young and I just feel so much older than her. She looks about 7 when shes in this mood. Its very strange.

I am quite mature (18) and sensible and well behaved however my girlfriend is the opposite with her mum and it really bugs me when I play back her acting like this in my head.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

True True i do agree now. Its just the way I've been raised I suppose. I wasen't raised by parents who sprayed polish on me whilst asleep and drew over me with permanent marker pens so obviously too me this is strange.

And as for those who said I am the childish one lol!! rolling around on the floor and messing about giggling is childish. It's what childs do!

So im sure you are incredibly childish too as you have said this.

Night

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2007):

vina_101 agony auntYou've just described a scene I'd love to be in with my own mother. Sadly she's deceased. Their relationship sounds great and they sound like really fun people. I almost wish I was there. I know it might make you feel out of place but, you know what they say 'if you can't beat them join them' maybe you could try loosening up a bit and not being such a 'fuddy duddy' lol. 'find your inner child' :) I mean, its her mom of course she's going to act a certain way around her. Try not to analyse their every move, just sit back and be cool. They may act overly childish to you maybe but that is they way they have always been as mother and daughter, they seem happy together and you shouldn't try to change that.

If you really can't stand it anymore and if it really is bugging you (like I think it is now) then maybe you should find another girl?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

you obviously do not have a close relationship with your own parents, and i believe thats the problem and you dont even know it yet.

you are 18, youre a child... im 25 i still consider myself a child... god i act like one. me and my mom are the same! we juice pinapples and put the pulp on our faces, fruit facial, and laugh our heads off.... yes my boyfriend looks at us like we are odd, but thats cool. he thinks its funny, not pathetic. this sounds like a girl and a mom, who when the right occasion comes, would drink champaign and laugh around with eachother.

what do you want a girlfriend who dislikes her mother?

what do you want a girlfriend who sits and debates world politics?

honestly yes your eithteen,you say you are mature, so what relationship would you like your girlfriend to hav with her mom.....?

if you really are mature, you would love the fun relationship they have.. the fact you dont, just means youre immature....

so really, go hang around youre friends girlfriends mom's... and see which you prefer....

im in no doubt youd have fun with your friends, splashing water over them... and thats what you should see your girlfriends mum as a friend too....

Otherwise, you are way too boring for your girlfriend, tell her you want out, her fun nature, im sure she will get along fine, as for you, maybe hang around the library, or maybe the local fabric shop.. you will find boring mums there. for sure..

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (27 February 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweetness,

Thank God that your girlfriend and her Mom have such a great relationship. That's really rare, and it's really awesome! Would you want a girlfriend who hated her Mom or always fought with her? I think it's really cool that they have such a wonderful, friendship-based relationship. Giggling and joking together, that sounds great!

If you hate being with the two of them, when your girlfriend says she's going to go to her Mom's, opt not to go. If you are stuck with the two of them, just grit your teeth and bear it. If you love this girl and see a future with her, you want a future with a POSITIVE Mother-daughter relationship.

Sorry, sweetness... I don't have better advice than to learn to love the fact that they clearly love each other.

xxIndia

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

I think you are actually the childish one. If she wants to act like it around you its her desision. Maby she likes to act childish and likes to have a bit of a laugh, but i'm sorry lovley, she cant just change because you're around, if you dont like her for the way she is, then don't try and change her because thats not really fair on her or you. So try and talk to her about, it and you could actually work it out between one another. Sarah xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

oh my god. your girlfriend and her mom get along. poor you.

grow up. you say you are "so mature" yet you cant stand the fact your girlfriend and her mother love each other, get along, and can be happy. so many people wish for a close relationship yet you want your gf to be unhappy?

grow up, or confront your girlfriend. you should know if you do though, she will side with her mother so prepare to be dumped.

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2007):

nicola79 agony auntYou cant stop the way they are with eachother,if you do she may end up resenting you for it. Maybe drop a hint by saying you feel a bit silly just sat there,and that you come to spend time with her and not to sit there watching the 2 of them.

Fair enough I think I would feel really out of place if I were in your shoes,why dont you just start going somewhere else with her to spend time together?

If it continues then maybe she is not the right girl for you. Just think hard before you do anything, because its easy to say something but hard to regret it.

I wish you all the best flower. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (27 February 2007):

kenny agony auntHave you ever heard the term the dreaded inlaws. Well i think your girlfriends Mum sounds like a good laugh, down to earth.

Think about it, she could have been a real prim and proper, stick in the mud type, where you had to be on your best behaviour at all times, then you would have something to complain about.

When i meet someone i would love my girlfriends Mum to be like that.

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