A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am 17years old and have been dating a girl for about 1 1/2 years already. Since after our one year ann, things have not been as high as i expected. Ok i feel under-appreciated, and feel like a third wheel when around her friends. I mean cmon, i try to be the perfect boyfriend each girl wants. I try to be sweet, loving, respectful, be there when she needs me, and i make sure that i do my best that shes happy. However, i feel like she does not do the same for me. In person, she talks easily tocher friends. I remember once she told me in class that she was not going to be able to talk to me cuz she needed to study for a test, so i respected her decision. Then a friend of her tells her to go over so they could talkThen my girlfriend makes me and her go sit over there so she couod talk to her friend (forgetting to study) and basically not even looking or saying a word to me. She does this alot! Like i dont exist to her in school. She only tells me what she feels on the phone or when we go out, other than that, i do most of the flirting and sweet talking.Then comes a friend of hers that gives me what i want. In class she flirts to me, and even most, talks to me! Ive grown these feelings for her because for once i actually feel like i exist. I would always look foward in seeing her (cuz i had her for 9th period)! Now since its summer ive made more time to talk to this "friend" and when i tell my girlfriend that i "love" her, i sometimes dont mean it. What do i do? I wont cheat but i still have feelings for my girlfriend and i have close ties with her family already. I dont wanna mess things up, and who knows what if this "friend" doesnt even like me. All i know is, i find myself happier with someone else because im getting what i want.What do i do...plz help. Thank you
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 June 2011):
 x
You are investing yourself emotionally in someone else which mean you are taking time, effort and energy away from your existing relationship.
You know the saying the grass is always greener? Well it isn't.
Be WHO you are. Don't try and BE the perfect BF or how you think your GF wants you to be. BE you. Also, if she tries to "drag" you around while she rather talk/hang with friends I would tell her to go ahead, but you got stuff to do. If you feel like the 3rd wheel, back off a little.
It seems to me that what you want from your GF is attention and affection. But right now YOU are sharing this attention and affection with her friend. And.. if they are good friends don't you think your GF will find out?
Stop flirting with the friend. It won't help you figure it out. And it will make you look like an ass to both girls.
Pull back on the sweet talking and lovey dovey stuff. Make yourself a little more unavailable to your GF. (normally I don't like "games" when it comes to relationships, but other times they can work quite well as an eye opener.)
I would let her miss you a little.
One thing I do think works in a relationship is this. YOU want something from your partner, either tell them or show them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Hey,Some girls actually prefer guys who are a bit meaner to them. She might deep down be one of them girls.You might be treated the way you are because of your niceness. She might have a control complex where she gets thrills from treating you that way.Answer me this? is he dad treated in a similar way by her mum?Yes you can try with her friend but you could try reversing her behavior in your favour first. I can tell you publicly on here because a lot of people will disagree with my methods but I do this sort of thing for a living and they work. or if you dont want to then just give her friend lots of attention and go with what I call the "jealously Plotline". This is where you create a jelously plotline with the intent of this making your current girlfriend come running to you and making her prove herself to you.
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