A
male
age
30-35,
*azednconfuzzled
writes:Hi me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 4 years now. We are 23 years old and were friends before we dated, she is my best friend....However recently i went through a bout of depression and checked out of the relationship for roughly a year, eventually she had enough and left me. Taking our cat and 1000$ on her way out the door... Now all that was sorted out, i got help with my depression and a few months later we gave it another go.When we reunited... I just had this feeling and looked in her phone... She had sexted and send a boob pic to her ex (first boyfriend, who she never had full sex with) 10 days after she broke up with me.We kinda worked past this as it stoped as soon as i reconected with her. However about a month later she broke it off again, stating there is still remnants of the last year she hasent quite gotten over etc...A month later we try again, again i check her phone and see that a guy who she has never seen before but has messaged like 6 years ago via a dating site had messaged her...He essentially asked her to come over (for sex duh)..She said no, i have to work early tommorow (which was true)He asked if she drove, and she said no, do you?To me this translates to:I cant come have sex with you im busy or i would, and i cant come see you but if you can pick me up in the future ill be down.Am i reading too much into this? She said it was nothing n she was not interested at all, i dont know what to believe anymore.
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 She will take attention where she can get it. She has an ego issue, and you need to forget her.
A
male
reader, Dazednconfuzzled +, writes (10 July 2013):
Dazednconfuzzled is verified as being by the original poster of the question Omg thank you tisha ur answer is perfect and actually is a good deal of whats been said/done.
I think counceling for a few sessions is a fantastic idea, i know its not just her/what she did that needs to be addressed here. Your probably righ about me not having to worry either i hope we get through this stronger on the other end.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 July 2013):
 You went through a bout of depression and checked out of the relationship. So maybe in her head, you two had not been a couple for 6 months or even longer. Maybe the breakup was just a formality, she'd checked out of the relationship just as you had.
At least she waited until it was officially over before doing something so stupid as to send nude pics of herself to someone.
I think that she doesn't trust YOU. She doesn't trust you to be there for her and not check out again, like you did in the past.
You did break up again for a bit, why?
You say her weakness kind of sickens you.
Maybe she perceives your depression and 'checking out' of the relationship as a weakness and she doesn't know if she can really trust you to be there.
She took the cat, is that a bad thing? Were you able to take care of it? Would it have survived in your care?
I think you are still angry she left you. She's still angry you checked out on her.
You are having regular sex so it's not putting you off being sexually intimate with her.
How about you two go to a counselor for about 3 or 4 sessions and get out all the dirty laundry and upset and hurt feelings and betrayals with the help of a third party?
If she's been faithful since you reconciled and it's been a few months then I would stop worrying she's going to go off with someone else. She could have ended it permanently after you bailed on her because of your depression, after all.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (10 July 2013):
I did read what you said. The truth is that she took money and the cat and bailed. She sexted guys, not expecting that you would find out. You did, before you actually started getting strung along. She was going to keep you around as the backup plan. She's not relationship material. Dump her and move on! Don't continue to punish yourself!
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A
male
reader, Dazednconfuzzled +, writes (9 July 2013):
Dazednconfuzzled is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry DVI but i dont think you actually read any of what i said, she hasent had sex with anyone else and as far as our sex life is concerned we have it regularly and thouroughly.
If she likes anything its attention... But either way were giving it one last go so well see. I was just hoping someone knew exactly whats going on in her head because all i can do is speculate, and unfortunately at this time cant take her at her word that it was nothing/for attention/will never happen again.
Maybe ur right though DVI, maybe shes a cock craving whore who will sleep with anyone who so much as winks at her.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (9 July 2013):
Look, bottom line is that it's not going to work. You can try, but it's not, no matter what you do. You guys want stuff that's too different...
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (9 July 2013):
It sounds like you two need to move on from each other. The time apart was too much, and at this point, she wants sex and you want a relationship. You guys are at different points in your lives...
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A
male
reader, Dazednconfuzzled +, writes (9 July 2013):
Dazednconfuzzled is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know if i should read into it or if her telling me she was just trying not to be rude is true...
Lord knows back in my single days ive had girls lead me on much more then that who actually werent interested.
Ughhhh so frustrating.
I think she truely means it when she sais the first time was a huge mistake and she was just seeking attention after such an intense breakup and loss. But maybe it doesent matter if it meant nothing or that it will never happen again.... Maybe the damage is done and ill never fully trust her again.
It really doesent matter that we werent together to me, it was only 10 days after 4 years, she broke up with me, doesent matter that he saw this and initiated the convo... Her weakness kinda sikens me.
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A
female
reader, Nicole.x  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 If you think its suspicious your probably right! Plus she ended it with you... Do you really want to be with someone who can just end it with you just like that? Don't u think u deserve better? Youtube let them walk! Its really inspirational :)!
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A
male
reader, Dazednconfuzzled +, writes (8 July 2013):
Dazednconfuzzled is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe didint exactly talk to the seccond one... He fb messaged her outa the blue and half the convo was her figuring out who this guy was. I just woulda prefered her to have been like no thanks when he asked if she wanted to hang out, instead of excuse and asking if he drove (suspicious to me).
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A
female
reader, Nicole.x +, writes (8 July 2013):
Your ex may have just been lonely to begin with as you two had been together a long time and then you suddenly weren't however if she keeps breaking it off with you and talking to other men now... Maybe the relationship is no longer what it once was?
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