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My girlfriend has been texting a much younger man

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 May 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2014)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

Here is a the concern two weeks ago I found out that girl I have been dating for five years and living with four and a half was texting a younger man. I found this out one night awhile she was sleeping with phone still in her hand. The text were more my girl friend bearing secrets to this person and they were kind of implying that we have grown apart. And I was upset by this because the emails made her look as available possibly. I overreacted however now I can not feel that can trust her. My age 55 her age 38 however she looks younger than that. Give me some advise o this problem should I dumped her or stay with her?

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A female reader, Lady Green United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2014):

Hi ,

What she did is so dishonest. I understand how and why you feel like you cannot trust her.

As a woman myself, I believe it is best if you confront her. Both of you are grown ups, there is no point playing games like a bunch of kids.

However, whatever her explanation will be, make sure they are logical and with a proof. Please do not take word by word of what she will say. Cuz she already betray you by texting another guy implying you both grown apart, you are entitled to be this way.

Truly wish you best of luck..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014):

Once the heart is out of it, its gone. She's not having her needs met and found someone else that is meeting them. Its immature but your response doesnt need to be. Id be open to hear her response but odds are youve lost trust and lost her. Do yourself a favor and slowly start to detach because it sounds like she already has. You can try to make amendments but it will be an uphill battle that you both must be willing to work on.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (26 May 2014):

You have two choices. You caught her at the beginning of an affair. Had you not found out, there's a very real chance it could have escalated. You need to either figure out and fix the problem or decide that it's time to move on because you're not compatible.

Talk with her. Tell her you're not upset but you want to hear the truth about your relationship from her. Figure out why she sought another man and decide if the problem that you want to fix (or can be fixed). Be prepared to leave if you can't get a satisfactory answer because it'll only happen again if you don't fix things.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014):

Going out with someone 17 years younger than you is always gonna cause problems later on. For a long time now men think it's perfectly fine to do this and they love the benefits early on - usually it's a massive ego boost and usually the girl/woman involved wants security - financial and knowing that her guy is unlikely to go off with someone else as a younger man might.

I'd suggest talking with her, but to be honest I think the cards are well and truly on the table. Time to face up to why you didn't want to be with a woman more your own age - there are absolutely loads of women in their forties and fifties who want to be with a man around their age, many of them are far more interesting, gorgeous and financially stable - why was it that you opted for someone younger all along? Did it help you to avoid facing up to things about yourself that you may now have to confront?

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (25 May 2014):

This is a problem. You checking her phone and emails is also a problem. I understand why you did this but I would be unhappy with you.

Sit down and have a conversation with her. Seek counselling for your relationship. Tell her how you feel. Be prepared for every answer possible.

Good Luck!

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