A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im heart broken and lost, my now ex found a post i made on this website asking for advice to help me help her really. i talked about how she is a nutter but i love her anyways, and that i would do anything to make her happy, and i was worried about getting in the way of her career. she then found the post i made 2 weeks later, i honestly think she searched my computer to find the post and then a day later after an amazing weekend together when we finally sorted out our differences, she starts going on about how i disrespected her and that i should remove the post because it mentions we live in the same town and that she lives with her dad and what type of work we both do? I thought surely only her or I would be able to denote that it was about us since i didnt mention any names or places. she then proceeded to say that she forgives me and that we should forget about it. she then started to say that I am playing the victim (even though i actually think i am the vitcim because i really feel that she completely over reacted) she then dumped me over facebook, she wouldnt even try to talk with me, i tried calling her but she never answered. I've been told by friends and even her friends that she isnt worth my worry, that she does this to anyone she is with, as in taking the cowards way out of relationships and never trying to work through anything. I went out with afew friends last night and she was there, i didnt think she would be because of work so i thought it would be safe for me because my wounds are still very rwar, but yes she was there and completely ignored me and was even flirting with a friend of mine, who assured me that he wouldnt ever backstab me like that. she was even telling everyone about the breakup in her own words to everyone in the bar! I could not believe it. I am so unbelievably hurt, i literally feel like i am empty inside, why do i love her so much when she treats me like this? why is she acting like this? what on earth have i done thats so wrong? i honestly felt that I was trying to help me help her by posting for help with our situation...? was this end inevitable? her friend was even motioning to her the "crying eyes mocking look" and i am 100% sure it was aimed at me... I really need other peoples out look on this please.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): Hey guys, original poster here, I want to thank you for your views, I'm going to try and avoid her as much as possible, unfortunately I will need to stop going out, she pretty much will be almost everywhere I try to go to. argh, really disapointed in this situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): Well I'm going to shock you by telling you that she's doing you a big favor. Not only is she reinforcing the fact that she is a "nutter;" but breaking up was a win win situation. She deserves to leave; because she needs help.
She is cruel, and has a very nasty and abusive disposition.
So she freed you of the abuse; because you were foolishly trying to fix her. You can't fix people, and it's not your responsibility. That's where she's correct.
She was laying a guilt-trip on you. No one has any clue who she is, or where you are. You're not stupid, you know better than that. She didn't show up by coincidence, by the way. She was there to perform. Childishly, and like a certified nut-case.
She knew ahead of time you'd be there. So she took abuse to a new level. Public humiliation. She may have a mental disorder, as you suspect. This angry behavior mimics that of a sociopath. She is exhibiting anti-social behavior.
Coming to terms with your detachment, and the deep emotions
after a breakup will run it's course. It doesn't feel good, but you're better off; since you wouldn't remove yourself from the situation voluntarily.
It's actually a blessing in disguise. You sought help; but I'm sure it was suggested that you leave. Instead, you tried to fix her. She read your post after snooping about.
Fate was really on your side for that.
Nobody likes being told their crazy. You only pissed her off. You deserved a little of that, to kick you out the door and out of at abusive situation. You were being somewhat whiny and clingy. You were suffering; but wouldn't accept the fact she doesn't care how you feel. She disrespects you. If she thinks you have all the issues; then she should have let you go sooner. She apparently doesn't have a clue how to work it out.
You wouldn't give up; when the situation was well beyond any hope of repair. You ignored advice. You did play the victim. By sticking around; while she emasculated you.
You are almost being emotionally masochistic. You're taking the psychological bashing, the verbal-abuse, and dismissing it. She is displaying truly fowl behavior, dude!
You are in need of a little counseling for that. That's passive-aggressive behavior. You wouldn't deal with the craziness head-on; instead you tried to go behind her back and find ways to do it without her finding out. You already knew you needed to break up with her.
Your friends and loved ones already gave you good advice. They know first-hand what is going on. We only know what we've read about her.
Please read my articles that I've written for help and support.
I had to go through a breakup. It was horrible; but there's light on the other-side. It won't be painless.
Delete her from your Facebook feed, and begin your recovery. Allow yourself to grieve your loss.
No contact of any kind. Avoid being where you know she's likely to be. No e-mails, text messages, no IM's, or calls.
She is on the warpath, and prefers psychological warfare as her strategy. Do yourself a favor, and be a moving target.
Give her back all her belongings; and engage the police if she becomes violent, or too aggressive. You're not a cry-baby, she's the b-word; with anger-management issues.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): I agree with CMMP. She doesn't know who she wants, other than attention and acceptance. She doesn't care about hurting you as long as she's getting that satisfaction, and she's seriously ups and downs, leave her to her issues cos this is one wreck you can't salvage.My gorgeous, intelligent friend got rejected by an overweight guy that wasn't a looker. She told me she wasn't even attracted to him, but she still went out of her way to go to places he goes, pretty much trailed around after him, flirting with others in front of him, just to get a reaction and reassurance. Snooping on your computer for dirt on her? That sounds like paranoia and irrationality to me. As if anyone's going to be able to tell its about her? She's a nutter and needs some help you can't give her. She's treated you like s*** and doesn't deserve it anyway. Block her delete her, and cut all contact you can from her, don't let her know she's messing with you. Good luck xxx
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (25 August 2013):
First of all, block her and initiate "No Contact" for your own good. Even if she wants you back, you are damn well sure that you are better off without her if you use your brain and not your heart.
As to why you want her even when she treats you this way... that's the way it always is. That's why women are notorious for liking bad boys. It has to do with wanting to feel accepted.
Every time I've broken up with girls they have acted devastated, and me being a softie, I took them back. Well, a couple of times they broke up with me within only a few weeks. So obviously they weren't devastated, they just craved that acceptance. One I gave it to them they were gone.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 August 2013):
 I'm guessing you are right she snooped though your computer looking for ammo she could use against you.
Honestly, I think your friends are right. She is flirting with your friends to get back at you, she is telling "everyone" about the dumping because she is trying to MAKE you look like the bad guy. That way she doesn't have to accept any responsibility for HER actions.
I think you dodged a bullet. She is a nutter and attention seeker.
I would go no contact as much as you can ( I guess since you both live in a small town it's hard to avoid each other) but remove her from FB, Block her, Un-friend her.. whatever you need to "cut" her out..
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