A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been in relationship since 9 months. SHe is the first love of my life and i want her to be the last love and i love her more then anything in the world. so I'm ready to compromise on all fields. but talks about her ex-boyfriend; with whom she had been in relationship for 4.3 years, ofen comes up.she also cheated me(being in relationship with her ex)in the starting 3 months of our relationship. so as to hide the story of cheating she didn't let me meet her friends. Even now she don't allow me to meet her friends nor her friends know about us.her friends take me just as the friend of my GF.I think she's still in relationship with her Ex, and may be socializing with her friends might disclose a part of story. I recently found her ex in her orkut(social networking website in india) friend list. and also saw some interaction. after my objection she wept and deleted him from list.Due to accademic reason, I stay away from her while her boyfriend stays near by. when i visit her she don't allow me to see her cell-phone messages, or let me make a lot interogation to other people. SHe remain so opaque to me. Things what i hate is everyone still think her ex to be her boy friend. while she don't want to except me socially. Excuse that she gives is "I don't want to be a kind of girl who had multiple boy friends, I want myself to be viewed as a one man girl(Obviously that MAN isn't me)"She says "she has no feelings for her ex any more, but i sense her getting a bit emotional"Its sounds weird but this is my FIRST RELATIONSHIP at the age of 22 years just because I had been too much busy with my carrier and achieving accademic success in research field.Thus I am a newbie in this field. please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): You are right. You are not her man. She is involved with her boyfriend. Kiss it good bye and move on. I don't think though that you should be spying on her or interrogating her.
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