A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 and my girlfriend is 18. We've been together for 13 months now, and i thought everything was going great. I love her so much and she says she does too.I run my own business with my brother, and my girl has just finished her A levels and is moving away to university 2 hours away. I'm absolutely gutted. I really don't want her to leave, but I don't tell her this, I've told her I'm very proud of her (which i am). She's really excited about moving, and I kind of feel hurt about it. She says she will come home every weekend to see me, but it doesn't feel enough. I want to be with her everyday, I feel complete with her and i feel I'm at the age where I'm ready to settle down, and want her to be the one.One night I was out with friends and bumped into my girl's best friend who is also moving away to a different uni. We were chatting in the pub, and I ended up pouring my heart out to her about my feelings on my girl moving away.... Her best friend told me not to be upset, but she also told me doubts my girl has been having.Apparently my girl has 'commitment issues' and doesn't allow herself to fall too in love, and she had told her best friend that she knows she could walk away from our relationship a lot easier than I could. Even though I thought she was in love with me. Her friend says she does tell her she loves me but 'knows we won't be together forever'. I was really hurt when I heard all this because my girlfriend never lets this on to me. She sounds so cold, yet when we are together she is so affectionate towards me. Her friend also told me that when I was away on holiday with the lads, they went on a girls night out, and my girlfriend drunkenly hooked up with another guy. She said he tried to get her to go back to his pad for sex but then my girl realized what she was doing and stopped. Apparently she broke down crying saying she couldn't believe what she had done to me and that said that she doesn't deserve me. Her friend said she got in a right state over it. Her friend tried to re assure me that my girl does really love me even though she says all this to her, she just finds it hard to let herself fall in love and so tries to keep a barrier to make things easier. I just don't get it though, she knows i would never do anything to hurt her so why can't she just open up to me.I haven't said anything to my gf about this night, she doesn't even know I know. I am really hurting now though, especially as she's moving in 2 weeks. I can't help but feel jealous because I know she's going to be living in an apartment with three lads. I don't know if i can trust her any more.I just don't know what to do? why is my girl like this? Do you think its coming to an end for us? i really don't want us to end, I'd be devastated.
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female
reader, Briana969  +, writes (1 September 2009):
Have you told your g/f anything about how you are feeling? you should really tell her or though don't go over the top because it will just sound like you don't trust her.Believe me it will be hard at first but when you things get settled it works out just as great. She will have Xmas break, Easter then summer.I know how it is because I go to university 200 miles away from my bf which is a three hour trip and we see each other every two weeks. like you he is in a full time job and He felt the same but after talking about it made both of us more prepared and determined not to let it ruin things. I have been to uni for two years now and things are great.Relationships is about being honest with each other and having complete trust each other. Its the one thing that will make it work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): She's awfully young, she's getting her independence for the first time, and away from home to boot. And, if her friend was giving you the straight goods, your g/f doesn't have the same committment to the relationship that you do. I strongly suspect that you need to prepare yourself for her to end it.
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