A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically im in university and have fallen in love with a beautiful girl. However she was only the second girl I ever slept with. I was her 5th.Now i do not have a problem with her sleeping with more than me as it opened my mind to girls are just like boys and enjoy sex.However I do feel as though ive "missed out" seeing as things have gotten serious im considering leaving as i don't know if in ten years time id be happy with my relatively small experience.Has anybody else faced this dilemma before?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Its a classic problem of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, and you are afraid to miss out if you commit. It happens to everyone from time to time, and for different reasons. Some are afraid they will miss out on sex with more partners (like you), some are afraid they will meet someone better down the road, some are afraid they are too young and don't want to "waste" their youth with one person only, etc etc etc.
But, it's all about the same: you wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. Afraid that if you never go and see it with your own eyes you will always linger towards it and wish you had it. Even if it isn't all that great (or green).
If you don't know if you want to be with your girlfriend anymore.. then perhaps you should end it with her until you know what you want in life. Thats fair enough. But I will let you in on some secrets to life now. If the sex with your girlfriend is great... what do you think you're missing out on? Loads of bad sex? Is that really something you actually want? Do you feel afraid of missing out on.. lets see.. sex with a guy? Sex with a person who just looks different from your girlfriend? Better sex? If you want better sex, why not work on getting there with your girlfriend. Really, what do you think you can get from other people that your girlfriend can't provide you with? And, is it important to you, or are you just scared that it MIGHT be important?
Any experience is good for you if you can learn from it and grow from it. And life experience in general is great to have. But you shouldn't feel forced to having to experience everything between heaven and earth. If you found something you enjoy, you like it, it makes you happy, then why not stick to it? Isn't that what we all want in the end anyway?
As for 10 years from now you might regret sticking to this girl? You're not married to her. You're not even that serious yet. In one year you might not even be with her, perhaps you had a fight, perhaps you just realized you weren't a good match. You can't ever predict the future, and things happen! So it's unlikely that you will actually be with this girl for a whole 10 years, but even IF you were to be with her for that long it'd be for a good reason: you wanted it.
At any moment when you feel she is no longer what you want you should leave. Don't marry her unless you KNOW she is exactly what you want. Until then don't worry so much about it.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (18 January 2011):
Do you get a prize if you sleep with more women? Does it make you a better man? Better person? What does it do to make your life any better than it is now???
There is a saying...The small axe cuts down the big tree. Your experience maybe small, but that does not mean you can't do big things with it.
It's not how many you had, it's what you do with the one you do have.
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