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male
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writes:hi guys im not sure how i put this question but here goes.i started talkin to this girl ages ago we got to be pretty good freinds then after a while we got more serious . then a m8 of myn that didnt know about me an her started asking questions about her i told him bout me an her an he said he was sry an that he wuld neva try anyfin wif her out of respect for me. that weekend they were both at the same party an sumthing happend. she didnt tell me i had 2 find out from the guy. at first she denyed it but then she said she did but that it meant nothing, she then got angry an said i was throwing her away. i asked her to xplain and she jus said she wuldnt. she said she did love me but it didnt matter now coz i was throwing her away. the guy told me that they made out, he said he was sry an that he was a bit drunk. i said it didnt matter coz u need 2 ppl 2 make out and he agreed.its bin a few weeks since this happend i felt like i was fairly well over it but today she email'd me and said she wanted me 2 understand what happend. and she wanted 2 xplaine so i said ok an she told me that the guy forced himself on her. im not sure if i believe her tho. it sounds bad but i dont believe this guy would do that. he's a good guy most of the time and even tho he went behind my bak i dont believe he would do sumthing like this. i dont know what to do anymore i feel like i need to listen to what shes saying but i dont know if i can trust her. if she's tellin the truth im goin 2 kill this guy (not literally) but if shes not then im not goin 2 bash this guy for wat he said he did.please im really confused with this one i dont know who to believe anymore?
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female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (31 December 2006):
 You should give her the benefit of the doubt and listen to her. And at the time of the incident, booze had a play in it, too, causing a lackk of judgement on both partys. That is the reason why I don't drink anything without my man with me, or vice-versa.
Please don't do anything that you will regret later on!
Best of Luck
A
male
reader, cam +, writes (30 December 2006):
cam is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey its me agen thanks for trying to help but i dont think i made the question clear enuff.the guy told me he would never try anything with her 3 days befor it happend.
after it happend i didnt go off at her a asked what happend that weekend because i wanted her 2 tell me her self befor i told her that i knew. at first she denyed it then i told her that i knew then she addmitted it but said that it didnt matter as i was throwing her away. i want 2 make it clear that i hadnt said anything about throwing her away, all i had done was confronted her on what had happend.
one of the reasons i feel i may be able 2 trust the guy more than i can trust her is because he came out with it the next weekend he knew i wasnt goin 2 b ok with it but accepted that he should tell me wat happend.
i realise what she has said is a big thing but i dont know if its tru. and if it is tru then y didnt she tell me befor now its bin almost 4 weeks.
please help me with this
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hey Cam,
Well first of all, you have quite a dilema going on here.
I think that if you really liked this girl it probably would have been more sensible to let her explain herself before "throwing her away" like some used rubbish.
You say that this guy hasn't been 100% truthful in the past and yet, by the way you have written your problem it seems to suggest you believe him more that this girl you like so much.
He said he was drunk, it was a party, she said he forced himself on her. Does that all add up to you? Say your mates' had a few drinks, feels a bit tipsy and looses control of his actions. Maybe this girl didn't want to tell you because she was afraid she might loose you and now she's probably kicking herself for not coming clean to you!!!
Let her explain yourself. If you firgive your friend and this girl and get back to normal maybe it will all be forgotten more than you think. If you think it may help tell your friend how much this girl means to you. If she's this precious to you then you can't be over her already?! Proper wounds take more time to heal...
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxXxx
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Wow that is a hard one, think of it this way your best friend, was drunk and pulled a really stupid move, and said he was sorry about it. and it sounds like she changed her story by saying that it didn't mean anything which means she allowed it to happen but regrets it now, but then saying that he forced himself on her. she sounds to me like she not telling the truth and really if your friend is really your friend then trust your gut, is this girl worth losing your friendship over. i doubt it. there are alot of girls out there waiting for a nice guy like you, so leave this girl and go out and find one you feel like you can trust.
Hope that helps
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