A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 25-year old virgin woman who has not had the chance to be in a relationship for a variety of reasons. As in, I haven't liked anyone who liked me back, and vice versa. However, that has rarely been a problem for me, since I'm a person with a healthy sexual appetite which has been quenched by porn sites. But of late, a particular obsession has been consuming me. I have this particular image of a "perfectly hot man" in my head (like everyone does) and recently, I'm getting flooded with fantasies of this fictional character that my dream man is based on. I've had crushes before like all normal people, but this particular "guy" is gripping my sexual imagination like none else. And slowly, I find myself unable to get attracted to any real life man. A lot of guys want to date me, I too want a relationship. However, I find that I'm absolutely unable to even fathom attraction to any man who does not have the basic characteristics of this fictional figure. Its getting weird, and I'm worried I'll never be satisfied with any man in my life. Please help me get over this. P.S. Please no telling me that "I need to get laid".
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): whenever I hear of a girl who is still single, a virgin at 25 and older, it shocks me since girls are generally on the receiving end of sexual attention, dating requests, even though she is limited to the guys that approach her, hit on her, ask her out, there is bound to be a guy in which there is mutual attraction involved.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2015): As you even said 'As in, I haven't liked anyone who liked me back, and vice versa'
So there are people out there that you can like its just finding the right one at the moment .
do not worry some people are just picky who they want to go out with ..
I am in a similar boat and if I hardly find a girl I actually like and the ones I do like I do not get a chance with .
so just keep going and you will find somebody you like.
just keep being social
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 January 2015):
 You don't NEED to get laid.
YOU need to let go of this fantasy guy. Imagine some really icky habits and then apply them to him (in your imagination).
For some things FANTASY can get live up to reality, but for others, reality can not live up to fantasy. (depending on how good your imagination is, mind you).
What you are having is obsessive thoughts. Believe it or not. It's a kind of escapism. We all (to an extend) have them. Maybe consider putting a rubber band on your wrist and EVERY time you think of "Mr. Perfect hunk" you "snap" yourself out of it with a " I know he is not real".
One thing I will say when it comes to FICTIONAL character in our lives, I don't think they are all bad. I think it's a "safe" way to figure out what we REALLY want from a partner. Kids have imaginary friends, adults have fantasy "lovers" or partners. BUT at some point WE all (kids AND adults) have to ACCEPT that those are FIGMENTS of our imagination and NOT at all real. So what do you want? To like in your own little la-la land? or with your feet firmly planted in reality?
If you find it hard to let go, TRY write it as "fan" fiction - see where you can take THIS character. Lay off the porn for a while. WRITE your own.
Above all, I don't think you are being abnormal. We ALL want that SPECIAL partner.
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