A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance told me that we may "learn something" from watching porn together in bed before and during sex.The porn he has always watches though is Barely Legal porn tapes of very young women and men just out of high school. To me that is not "learning something" from teenagers.I thought to myself is my fiance being very smooth or what to get me to watch porn with him when we are intimate.I keep thinking he is using the "learning" line as an excuse so that he can view porn of young women.Has your man asked you to watch porn with him as a learning tool? Is that normal?He says I am great in bed (which is very nice of him to say) so I don't get why he needs outside stimulation while we have sex.It's not all the time that we view porn. He always ask if I would like to view a movie while having sex. I only indulge him because I love him, but I get uncomfortable because it's always the barely legal teenagers. So again, I don't know if this is normal and to use the line "learning" or if it just an excuse so he can view porn?
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (6 October 2012):
 'Learning' is just the line he gives so he can watch porn. And barely legal videos is the closet he'll get to having sex with teenage girls without being arrested and labelled a paedophile.
What is there to learn? And why only a very specific type of porn? And how many times does he have to watch it before he's finally 'learned something'?
Sex is supposed to enjoyable for both parties ALL of the time. It's not about one party suffering so the other can have fun. This is a bad precendent to set with a man. I suggest you put a stop to it.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (6 October 2012):
 Porn is relatively harmless as long as all parties are consenting and fine with it. This, however, is an issue.Porn is not educational. Let me say that one more time.PORN. IS. NOT. EDUCATIONAL.Porn is in no way like "successful", or "good" sex. It shows nothing of realistic foreplay, realistic oral sex, realistic intercourse or realistic orgasms. It rarely shows REAL female orgasm. People Cannot Learn From Porn, because porn shows nothing real. A man "learning" from porn is like a woman "learning" what a relationship is "supposed to be like" from those ridiculous Hollywood vomitfests called Romantic Comedies.If you're okay with him watching porn, say so. But you need to be straight up with him and tell him that there's no way in hell he's going to learn anything from porn. He needs to be honest with you and just tell you that he's interested in watching porn with you because he thinks it'll be sexy, instead of making up absolutely transparent excuses.As for "normal"...that depends. Lots of people watch porn on at least a semi-regular basis, so that is Normal in that respect. But lying about it? Not healthy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): Oh brother...that reasoning is really lame.
What will you (he) learn from it? That porn is fake, staged and trying to copy what you see in porn will bring disappointment and not what he thought it was going to be.
Sure there is going to be stimulation, but for you it will likely be a turn off watching these girls getting abused for money.
It's a bit disturbing that a man at that age wants to watch women that young...my kids are that age and I would be freaked out disgusted if I knew my man or any men I knew were interested in watching young girls that are their daughter's ages too...we don't need anymore perverts in the world.
You can spice up your sex life in many ways without bringing porn for men into the bedroom. How can you be intimately connected in this way?
Good luck and I hope this works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): I agree, it CAN stimulate the sex life of a couple, and yes maybe you could learn a thing or two from it, such as new ideas to incorporate into your own sex life, but there's not much you can learn from just listening to it while you're both having sex.
In this case, it sounds like maybe your partner wants to watch it while having sex with you, and fantasize that he's having sex with a girl as young as the ones in those videos.
Depending on how young the girls are (I'm assuming they're going to be 18+) then there's not really anything wrong in what his desires I guess...from the point of legality anyway.
If however the girls ARE an age that would still be considered 'underage' then yes, its very wrong what he's doing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 October 2012):
 I think you already know the answer to this.
I think at times couples who want to spice up their sex life will try new things, but............ I don't think it's smart or healthy to do it JUST to please the other person. SEX should be SHARED enjoyment.
I honestly think it sounds sick that a grown ass man wants to watch "barely legal" pron while having sex with his partner. What are you supposed to learn from it? Did you ask? And what exactly can these "teen-looking" porn stars TEACH you that more "mature looking" porn stars can't? I'm pretty sure someone with a even a LITTLE "porn cognizant" would look for more educational porn.
I call the BULLSHIT card on his reasoning.
I want to ask you WHY you do this if you find it unacceptable.. Just to please him? It's backfiring for you, because you will start to resent it and him - then you will start to feel insecure and doubt yourself.
Is it "normal"? I certainly hope not. I think perhaps that he just assume you will play along, because you have in the past?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2012):
 Normal or normal.. well, who knows. There's not exactly any statistics up about how many men world wide ask this.
But I've never had a boyfriend ask me this. Sure, I've watched porn with my boyfriends, but that's always been my idea, and I never used the line "so we can learn from it". That's probably just a line he says to make it sound better. The more probable cause is that porn turns him on and he gets a different experience from sex when the two of you watch porn at the same time. That's why I want to watch porn while having sexy anyways. It turns me on, and it's just one of the zillion things you can do to make sex variated and interesting.
But you never learn anything from porn, unless you've got one of those "educational" porn videos that show you how to do certain things. I once watched a porn of something like "anal sex school", lol, whith students in a class getting educated on different toys and how to use them. Now, that I actually learned a lot from.
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