A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I need to know what to do in my situation that I know im not the only one that is dealing. Ive been with a man for just over 2 years now. We are engaged. The problem is this:He has twin boys with his ex. Now I understand that he needs to keep in contact with her due to the kids. My problem is, she doesn't know me at all and she has text him saying very rude and inappropriate things about myself or talking trash about my parenting or my kids ( I have 3 kids from past relationships )Im not sure if she was trying to get me to snap and threaten her thru a text or what she was really thinking. Ive been biting my tongue the whole time Ive been with him. Until it came a night that I found out that he ended up sleeping with her a couple times behind my back. I found out cuz she held it over his head to get her way with him. She would honestly brag about sleeping with him while hes with me. So in other words shes proud to be a homewrecker. Real winner there!! But now since I know since Ive got kids that he has to deal with her for the rest of his life. It bothers the hell out of me every time I see her due to my rage instantly coming right back just by the site of her. Ive tried getting past it so I can live a happy life with my man. But I don't know how to get past the fact he did this stupid act to me with her. I did lose my fight with biting my tongue after I found this out about them. I walked up to her and said "you don't know me... I don't know you.. all I do know is that I cant change the past..but I sure as hell can change the future. You try getting with MY man again... you will be getting to know me on a much better basis and you don't want that." I probably went past my boundries saying that but its not right to be sleeping with a taken man and saying "c'mon she wont find out." Shes trying to push my buttons so she can get something on me to keep me away from their kids who I take care of when they are over. What can I do????
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cheated on me, engaged, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do understand your point of view on this. Im not only mad at her....but also at him. If he wants to go stick his dipstick else where then he should of never of gotten into a relationship. So for that he is in the wrong. My anger towards her is there due to the fact that she KNOWS that Im with him & she enjoys ruining peoples lives caused by drama shes involved in making. I wont lie, Years down the road I think that she will try to get with him again or other way around with him trying to hook up with her for a quick fling again. And guess what... My butt will NOT be sitting there waiting for him after that either. Ive already made it clear that if he wants to do one more thing stupid due to thinking with the "wrong head" then Im walking and will NOT turn back around. Ive given so many more chances then I already should have with him. A woman that gives a man nothing but love, respect, and always there for him shouldn't ever have to put up with such a man. I deserve better treatment then that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2015): Hello,I always said to myself and my friends 'I don't understand why women feel most angry at the woman, rather than the man who is the one who betrayed them.' I say 'It is not the other woman who has an emotional responsibility to you, it is the man. Why hold her accountable for breaking your heart? Unless she's your friend or relative, is there any real justification in redirecting all the feelings of betrayal onto some woman who you never trusted, and never had a relationship with? Its noble to expect basic human decency from everyone but you won't get it. Everyone in the end should be held to different standards, like your man for example. Because of love we forgive, and that's how it should be. But you have to ask yourself if this will happen again. And if it does which it likely will, is it still going to be just some trifling proud homewrecker's fault or does your man have a seriously flawed character. She will tempt him again, because she's jealous and will always be within easy reach...is he really likely to keep resisting? And how will you handle it next time? Just More anger and resentment? Don't enter into a dangerous and poisonous cycle because it might become just that. But well done for keeping your cool and not giving in to her bait, that shows that you really are the better woman. In all of this, remember to look out for number one, which is you and your kids. Love yourself and think critically, not just with your emotions.
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