A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dearcupid, I am a black 15 year old girl and I have a 16 year old boyfriend who is white.My mom and dad said that I am not allowed to date until age 16 but my b-day is only a few months away so that's not a problem. The real problem is the fact that we are from two diff. ethnic groups and my daddy is kinda-sorta racist. He will work with white people no problem, but if he found out i am dating a white boy who knows how he will react. Okay, my question is; I like my boyfriend and he likes me to, my mom is okay with it, but it's my daddy i'm worried about. He has a grudge from something that happened to him a long time ago and my momma is trying to tell me about how we were treated back then and all that, and I understand that and I know they just want to keep me from getting hurt. So my question is: when my 16th B-day comes do I tell my dad about him? If I do tell him and he says we need to break up what should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): I say wait til you are old enough to date then you can make your own your own mind up.Thats what wrong with the world now they are to caught up on color I don't care about color as long as you treat my kids with respect it's fine by me.My son's girl friend is mixed Mexican and black it fine by me I don't care love doesn't see color.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I agree that you should wait until you're 16. That's the rule. However, when you get to 16, I don't think you should break up because "what will society think" and that in case you fall in love, get married and have babies, that your children will grow up horribly confused, etc.
My Dad is black, my Mom is white, and me and my sister have fit in just fine. I think I get more flack for having the name Michael and being female. I've never heard anybody complain, I've never gotten sideways looks and I haven't encountered any ignorant people who have said anything. Honestly, I think that perhaps it has made me and my sister a little more color-blind or whatever you'll call it, because we don't have to classify with some particular race. Just the human race. Not to mention, we both love our hair, skin color, and parents. They've been together for over 30 years and their love is still as strong as the day they met.
It's hard for me to read, "my parents aren't racist, but did not want me dating a white boy...", because that sounds a bit racist to me. I'm sure that your parents are wonderful, but I think that this idea of theirs is definitely skewed.
Keep the dating of this boy on the DL for a couple of months. Or call yourselves "just friends". But don't break up with him because he's white. Don't give into that. You love who you love. When you tell your Dad, maybe go on a few dates with this guy first - and then tell your Dad what a lovely time that you've had with him. Tell him how your BF took you to dinner, brought you a flower, make sure that you're not caught talking on the phone at 3am. He should behave like a perfect gentleman. And if your Dad begins to protest, maybe ask him if this boy can at least come over to dinner so that your Dad can meet him. Take it from there.
Good luck, sweet!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): My parents explained something to me when I first started dating when I was 16. They weren't racist, but they did not want me dating a white boy because if dating led to love, marriage, and children our children would have a hard time fitting in with both ethnic groups and we wouldn't be accepted as a couple by many people either because we were two different ethnicities.
Your dad is probably not the only person in your life who is racist. Who else is going to treat you terribly for having a white boyfriend? Are you strong enough to deal with the added stress that racist people will put on you, your boyfriend and your relationship? Would it be better if you and your boyfriend just kept a close friendship instead?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Sorry but your Dad holds all the cards at this stage of your young life. You can try to reason with him (and he may listen to you), but if he objects to you dating this young man that's about it. His roof his rules. However, I will warn you that going behind his back is a very bad idea and will have serious repercussions on your future, dating wise and in general. Trust is vital in all relationships so don't do anything to ruin your parent's trust in you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 March 2013):
Why tell him at all? When I was your age I was in the same situation and although my parents didn't care, my gf's mom wasn't happy. But we just never needed to make it known to her because it wasn't like we'd be hanging out at her house.
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