A
female
age
36-40,
*eartbroken22
writes:My ex broke up with me nearly 4months ago and we still stayed very close afterwards but I realised 3weeks ago that it was not helping me get over him and I was only ended up upset after talking with or meeting up with him even tho we would have a great time. I love him soo muchand heard all the advice of cut of contact for few weeks.. i met up with him 2weeks ago and we just hung out but I knew in my head that this was it for along time untill i am ready to try be friends but I got a txt off him the other night saying he misses me and I didnt reply, got a txt the next day asking how I was and again i didnt reply. Today I got another msg off him asking about something else---what does all this mean?? should i still stop contact for another while? thanx x
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broke up, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Sometimes,there is no right or wrong. If you think this relationship deserves another chance, you should give it another try.
Who does not make mistakes ? No one is perfect. We are only human.
A
female
reader, Heartbroken22 +, writes (17 March 2010):
Heartbroken22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought cutting contact was the answear ...........:(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): i agree with lexi88 but the one thing i have to add is that if you want to remain friends or on non hostile terms with him. dont just ignore him. it might make him feel worse or feel resentment towards you. tell him you need time away from him. or something along those lines
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A
female
reader, Heartbroken22 +, writes (16 March 2010):
Heartbroken22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do still love him alot and if we could get back to what we had would b amazing--i dunno if that is possible like....We broke up because we had started fighting... I was his first girlfreind and i think college life took over him and seeing his freinds living the college life...but maybe ow he realises? I still have not contacted him... thanx to all that answearedxxx
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 I also agree with Lexie. Your doing fantastically well to break contact...keep going and never look back.
xxx
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A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 I agree COMPLETELY with Lexie88, well said!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (16 March 2010):
Your ex has remorse and regrets and is trying to connect back with you.
If you think that you want to move on , just ignore his msg.
If you think that you want to give this relationship another chance, give him a reply .
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 And I guess I forgot to answer your question lol
Stopping contact only works if YOU are the one who wants to move on completely. If you're stopping contact for any other reason, it will not work. If you think that stopping contact for a few weeks and then resuming a 'friendship' will work, I can tell you that it won't. You'll be back to square one before you know it.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (16 March 2010):
Why did you break up? I might be wrong here but I think what he's doing is trying to make himself feel better about the fact that he broke up with you. Even though you're not together anymore, I'm sure that he does miss you and your company. And this doesn't mean he wants to get back together. But do you want to get back together? Does he?
I think you've done well to cut off contact. If he made a choice to let you go, then you have to tell him that he needs to let go completely. He seems to want it both ways, he doesn't want you, and yet he's in your face all the time with the messaging.
If I was you, I would think carefully about what it is that you want...the reason he broke it off might help you here. When you've made your mind up, take action. If you decide you want to move on, tell him so, don't be afraid of hurting his feelings. Tell him that he was the one that let you go and that to move on you need him to leave you alone. If you want to give it another go, tell him so...and say that he's either in or out...no in-betweens, no mucking you about.
I think that life's too short to waste on people who don't know what they want and who involve you in their confusion. He needs to make his mind up...but before you say anything, figure out what you want from him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): a guy i was with for a long time ended things and afterwards still called me hun when we were apart. it drove my emotions wild because i thought well he does still like him. but if i made any kind of advancement to him he would freak out. so i finally told him wat i was thinking and my advice :
the things he says like " i miss you" or what ever else is sending mixed signals he either wants to be with you romantically or he doesnt (and striclly just friends). there is no inbetween. (at least not until you get over him and you decide when that is not him).
breaks ups are confusing because you had such a connection its hard to end it on a dime. but its better to just rip the bandaid off then pull it off slowly.
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