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My ex wants sex. Does she still love me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My ex-fiance said she broke up with me over my temper,I got mad because she would not tell another guy to stop calling her while I was present. She said she had nothing to say to him, she recently said he does the same thing to his ex-wife. She says she is trying to mend a broken heart just like I am. If she truly loved me, wouldn't she understand and be more accepting that I truly love her,and I'm so sorry about my anger?

She works with my sister n law,and sometimes ask's what I'm doing,and lets her know,I haven't called her for a few days,she even said she wanted to see me for intimate encounters,as long as I'm not seeing someone else,when we do talk or text,she get's like she really does care,but then afterwards,it's almost like she resents me!

A couple weeks ago,I texted a friend of hers,asked what should I do, my ex text me throwing a fit about that,in 3 minutes of texting she had went from irrate to sweet,we even talked about our sex life and how great it was,she passionately told me how much she liked sex with me. We've texted like that a couple times and even talked about meeting for no strings attached sex, sort of friends with benefits so to speak,does she really care about me,or just stringing me alone? I do love her more then anything except my kids. She was crazy about them as well.What do I do?

View related questions: broke up, ex-wife, friend with benefits, his ex, my ex, sex life, text

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A male reader, NycZem United States +, writes (30 January 2008):

NycZem agony auntMany girls/women have done this to me so it seems logical. She loves you and is trying to keep you around.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008):

i think that she either does still love you or she misses the sex and the idea of you. only you can find that out by talking to her. maybe she just needs some time alone to figure out how she feels? i dont think that no strings attached sex is a good idea, it leads to false hope and bad confrontations. talk to her face to face, not txting her friends etc. , and tell her that you love her and miss her, and you understand why she gets hurt by your temper - something you may want to work on also. tell her that you would love to give it another try - start fresh. maybe even suggest taking things slow, ie dating first and then seeing where it goes. this will ease the pressure on both of you, and let you both enjoy being in each others company again. take it slow, and im sure things will work out

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008):

Get some therapy for anger management and the best sort is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. You can start free on a website called Moodgym. You will not be able to resolve your anger issues without help because you have had them too long. If you don’t do anything about it that is up to you, but it won’t get better by itself. You need to see a therapist as well, but do start the online working first as it will give you a head start. There are bound to be therapists in your area. As your girlfriend whether she would consider seeing you after you have had some time working on it. You could take her with you on an appointment as well so the therapist can explain to her what you are doing and how hard you are working on resolving your issues. Then let her decide.

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