A
female
age
41-50,
*idiera
writes:I broke up with my ex two and a half weeks ago. Since then, I've been very good about not calling, and I was finally feeling good about myself and the situation. Then, yesterday, his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend wrote me a message over myspace telling me she had spent the entire weekend with him. And that was only 2 weeks after we broke up. I feel sick to my stomach. This was one of the reasons we broke up in the first place...because we had an on again - off again type of relationship and he always ended up having sex with her when we were off. But that was in the beginning of the relationship, and we had definately gotten deeper since the last time it happened...so it hurt very much. It made me feel inadequate, ugly (she's a skinny, model-hot blonde...I'm average sized, average face brunette), and like he was cheating the whole time. I don't really have a question...just need some insight on this.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, my ex, myspace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): I think how you were feeling before, "good about yourself and the situation" is what you should focus on. I'm very sorry that this happened, but I don't think you should think that him having sex with his ex has anything to do with you. Everyone gets lonely, it doesn't mean that he didn't care/does care more about you than her. I obviously don't know you, but I can empathize. You're stronger than he is and I promise you'll look back on this when you've found someone who is right for you and realize it just had to happen so you could grow. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Joey5000  +, writes (24 September 2008):
you are better off without him. he cant decide wat he wants so why be with him. keep looking for your prince charming
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A
female
reader, rummykub  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Hello,
I was really sad to read you putting yourself down in that question. What you have to remember is that you were obviously his first choice, his girl! She is clearly some silly blonde f$%ck buddy who he sees as always available to him. You were obviously his number one, despite the fact that things didn't work out between you. He is just having a consolation shag with his safe bet, something ANY man would do, and he will undoubtedly not hang around.
Forget her, your relationship is entirely separate. There are many more Mr Perfects out there. Don't pin your hopes on 'the one', enjoy as many as you can!
Best of luck.
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): awww i know how u feel hun. My ex split wiv me 4 weeks ago. He gave no explanation. Then a couple of days later I got a message on myspace from a boy I know telling me that his ex was with my ex. I also felt sick to the stomach. I was at work at the time and i remember having to go to the toilet to cry. Its a horrible feeling. But this girl isnt his ex....its some girl he met randomly at a party. So I dont know what would be worse....him going back to his ex or going with this stranger. Wotever, it makes you feel crap. Its normal that you feel inadequate tho. You are going to get these feelings, its only natural to question yourself and compare yourself to the other woman. Your self esteem would have a taken a knock too and this will make you doubt yourself. But you need to stop doing this and remember that you are the one he settled down with, shes the one he runs to when things go wrong between you and him. Shes his bit of fun by the sounds of things.
I think what you should do is carry on like you have been - not making any contact with him. You need to think about whats best for you now. Do you really want to get back with someone who uses women like this anyway?
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A
female
reader, breathless +, writes (24 September 2008):
well she is a fool for having sex with him all this time he has been using her for sex and thats all it is,if and when he gets back with you or finds someone else it will happen again run to the ex for sex,your better off without this man he is a user
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