A
female
age
30-35,
*atie138
writes:my love life is very complicated. One of my friends had this ex boyfriend, but they had broken up for a good 6 months, then I met him and we just clicked even though when i met him I was actually seeing some other guy. Anyway we got talking and met up and got on really well and started seeing each other and then made it official, it went really well, only problem was to not hurt my friend we didn't tell her! anyway we eventually told her and it was pretty much down hill from there! we ended up breaking up, but carried on seeing each other, then he slept with one of his other ex's that he left for me, and we had a huge arguement about it (this was the other week) he had put me through a lot of heartache and problems since we had been together, I lost a lot of friends because of it, they all say he's an idiot and treats me really bad, but they only know the bad things about him and not the great things about what make me love him. Anyway after he slept with his ex I finally decided im done with him now I can't face being heartbroken anymore, so I ignored all his texts and calls...that lasted about 2hours because he phoned my mum to get through to me which then we argued more. We finally fully made up and we were getting much closer again I had forgiven him yet again for everything, but then he found out his ex had been in a relationship for months and not told him and had cheated on her boyfriend with my ex when they slept together and he went round hers and went mad, he has now decided to never talk to her again which is great for me! until he told me he needed space, i didnt no whether to do that and risk my ex-friend getting closer to him because she is still mad about him and sees him all the time or see him and risk him pushing me away, anyway i saw him and decided to take the risk of him pushing me away and we are getting on well again, and we made it clear it was AS FRIENDS until hes over his ex fully. But he came round mine yesterday and we were doing well as friends but I couldn't do it we ended up kissing...and then one thing led to another and we ended up having sex again! He said i dont want you to think we are going to get together because im not over my ex and im not jumping from girl to girl anymore and i said good because i dont want to be with you until you're fully over her because i dont want to be second best! he was telling me how his mum n dad want me to be his girlfriend again because they really like me and me and his sister argue and wind each other up like anything we get on really well! haha i dont know weather its time to finally move on and find someone else or stick around and wait for him to be over her?! because he said it will be a long time! and hes telling me to move on...because he wants me to be happy and that but i only want him, but i find i just get heartbroken a lot by him, and i dont know what to do anymore!sorry it's so long! just wanted an overall piece of advice. thanks in advance for any advice really needing it!! x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Hold on, your right I do find the whole thing very complicated.....
Who does this man belong to. First of all you say he was your friends "ex-boyfriend", then he broke up with you and became your "ex-boyfriend". Whilst he was single and free, and no longer in a relationship with you, he slept with his old "ex-girlfriend", so probably became her "new boyfriend". I don't know why you thought you had the right to argue with him about this, because he was a single man and had the right to choose to sleep anybody he wanted.
For some reason he decided to tell you (his ex-girlfriend) all about his new girlfriend, who had been cheating on him. He has now ended this relationship and is now his ex-girlfriend again, and he is free and single and able to do anything he wants. You remain friends with him, but you have been foolish enough to become sexual with him again. You are not in a romantic relationship, he is still your ex-boyfriend, the sex thing just kinda happened between two single people. Understandable, this stuff happens.
He's told you the truth about his feelings, he's been very honest with you. He's given you good advice which I think you should take. "He said i dont want you to think we are going to get together because im not over my ex and im not jumping from girl to girl anymore.....He said it will be a long time! and hes telling me to move on"
Your parents like him, and his sister likes you. Who cares, they're not sleeping with either him or you. It's not their life, it's his and yours.
When you get down to it, the solution to your problem is more simple than the events that you have just told us. You can't wait for him, because he dosen't want you too. He has no intention of getting involved with you again. Take his advice and move on. You are now his ex-girlfriend, and probably a cherished freind, there is nothing more to wait for because your romantic relationship is dead.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Dear Aunts and Uncles, Please be aware that the poster has asked this question twice. The same question has been asked at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-love-life-is-complicated--i-dont.html
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