| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a lovely man for over four months. He is kind, caring and treats me very well. I have been on my own with my daughter for 17 years, her father left me when she was a baby and i was left devastated. He got on with his life and it took me a long time to get over him.I care very much for my boyfriend and i think that i do love him. But i push him away constantly. I feel that i can't cope sometimes with my feelings and as i have never had a relationship where i have been treated well i find it hard to relax and enjoy what we have.My parents were never nurturing and throughout my life i have always felt second best to everyone. I throw his past relationships in his face all the time. I get jealous when he has talked about his ex wife and how he took his vows seriously. There is barely a time when we are together that i don't bring up one of his exes, start questioning him about his feelings for them and get upset about them.I have finished with him, because i feel that i treat him unfairly and i know he deserves better but truth is i don't want to let him go but i feel i cannot stop the destructive behavior i have. Does it actually really matter about someones past? He says he loved his wife and the only other woman he has loved and still does it me, but i can't move past the others, even though in truth he has simply had a few steady girlfriends.
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ex-wife, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 Have you considered going to therapy? It seems that you have deep issues where you are insecure and lack confidence. A professional could help you work through your feelings and build trust.
Be honest with your boyfriend and tell him you want help. Explain to him why you question him and do what you do. If you don't want him to tell you about his past then don't ask him.
A
female
reader, nnn2017  +, writes (15 September 2017):
Why would he be so insensitive as to bring this up? I assume you guys have confided in each other enough for him to know this. Honestly, he might still be stuck on her if he's talking about her to you and that is not healthy for either of you. If you keep staying with him you'll just be upset.
From personal experience, if something bothers you like that and it keeps coming up, it's not going to go away. It's better to end it now and find someone who truly cares about you then try to make a bad arrangement work.
Best of luck.
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