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How should I deal with this fantasy?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2017)
A male Canada age , anonymous writes:

I have been married 30 yrs. As far as I know my wife has never cheated.I find myself fantasizing lately watching her have sex with a stranger with a huge penis. I don;t mean like an affair. I set it up with an escort service and watch. It is not as though we have ever had issues with sex and compatibility. I am well endowed, so its not a psychological thing I don't think. Is this weird or just stupid and what is I tell her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2017):

Thanks for the thoughtful advice.I guess the fantasy is best kept to myself. It was never my intent to ask her to do it,but rather do you! want to. although!!! Now the fantasy is what would she have said.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 September 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntThis fantasy is best kept to yourself. If you act on it you will end up loosing your wife or getting jealous if you see her with some other guy and she looks like she is enjoying herself more than ever. The best thing to do is to keep it a fantasy.

If you tell your wife she may get confused and feel that you don't love her any more or that you are looking for an open marriage. Introducing a third person to a marriage is always a bad idea, and never ends well.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (14 September 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThis is the sort of fantasy which should only come out if you fancy some role playing. If you are not into that, then you need to keep this fantasy to yourself. Nothing wrong with that as most of us have fantasies but understand that they are just that and best kept to ourselves.

If you tell your wife about this fantasy with the goal of making it reality, your marriage will never be the same again. Your wife will either think you don't love her or she will agree to do what you fantasize about and YOU will feel jealous and that your wife doesn't love YOU.

You have something special with your wife. My advice would be not to put it all at risk otherwise your next post will be asking for advice on saving your marriage.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2017):

It's playing with fire, and Russian Roulette with your marriage. Introducing a third-party into your marriage for the sake of a fantasy; might just be rolling the dice to see how long before someone comes along and steals your wife.

You can write the script, set the stage, and direct the characters in your fantasy. What you can't do is control feelings. Feelings are unpredictable.

Once fantasies see daylight, they sometimes start to mess with your head. They are no longer the fun they were when held captive in your brain. Reality can turn a dream into a nightmare.

Some things are better left a fantasy, my friend. Your wife doesn't cheat now, so why trifle with fate?

The good thing about porn is, you can turn it off; or run it back to the beginning. That isn't so in real-life.

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