A
female
age
41-50,
*lanket
writes:I have been married for 8 years. During the first year, my husband had an affair on me. Since then we have moved forward and are back on track. It's been 7 years and I have not thought about the past until 6 months ago. I work with a girl who is having an affair with a married man. I have caught them numerous times making out at work. They don't hide anything which is becoming annoying. To top it off, she is a nurse and he is a doctor. I know the man's wife but haven't said anything. It's none of my business but I'm very upset because it just reminds me oF how my husband hurt me. I try to walk away or ignore the two cheaters but inside I'm hurting all over. Since it's really none of my business, how do I not let what I see bother me. I can't help but wonder did my husband really like the girl he cheated on me with like the man who is cheating with my coworker. This has been going on for a year.
View related questions:
affair, at work, cheated on me, co-worker, I work with, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2010):
This doctor, like your husband, probably doesn't care about the woman at all. The majority of men who have affairs do it for nothing other than sex, and the mistresses frequently end up deluded and hurt. When push comes to shove, married men tend to choose their wives. Your husband chose you, even if at the time you were hurt and couldn't see that. You are right to stay out of this co-worker's business. Either the woman will end up hurt and used, or the doctor will actually leave his wife who will be better off without him. I would suggest that this is the time to go home to your husband and tell him you'd like to spend more time together going things. Throw yourself into your marriage again. That way you're keeping your marriage strong. It sounds like your marriage could just do with a bit of a kick again. So I think both you and your husband could do to spend time together. Your husband does love you. He screwed up, but in the end chose you because he loved you.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 You need to distance yourself from this. I think a lot of Aunty's and Uncle's on here have been cheated on and will know exactly where you are coming from. Ofcourse this has opened painful wounds but let them get on with it. If you are close to the girl you could maybe say to her that she is making a mistake and explain what happened to you and how you felt but I doubt she will listen. When they are in lust they won't listen.
I think it is highly unlikely that your husband felt like this about the girl he was having an affair with. As you can see by your colleagues actions it is nearly all about sex. You and your husband have worked through this and moved on. Try to avoid this couple and unless the man's wife is your best friend do not tell her. I know this has opened old wounds and it is not nice and not appropriate behaviour anywhere but especially not in the work environment but honestly just avoid them.
...............................
|
