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My boyfriend's ex believes we were cheating before they broke up and keeps writing nasty things online about me

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend officially for about a month, but we have been seeing each other since early February.

We worked together for a while last year, so I knew him before when he was with his ex girlfriend. I totally admit, I liked him then and I was happy when he told me that he had broken up with his ex because he had a thing for me.

They had been split up since before Christmas and not long after he asked me if I wanted to go see a film at the cinema. It wasn't a date or anything but it was just us. We had fun, and from that we did go on to have an actual date. Like I said in early February we started seeing each other regularly, and even though it wasn't girlfriend/boyfriend people knew we were together.

At first, his ex never said a thing, (we kept it quiet because of how quick we got together after they broke.up. My idea.) We had a few photos together online and what not but she never said a thing. Then I saw something on facebook basically calling me a slag, saying I had took her boyfriend from her and that it had been going on for months behind her back. I sent her a message explaining that wasn't the case at all and she blocked me. My boyfriend also told her that it wasn't what happened and told her to remove all the crap she had wrote from facebook but she refused and carried on. It calmed down after a while and we went official, telling people we were together. When my boyfriend added a photo of me to his facebook wearing his football shirt with his surname on the back, one of her friends commented saying I needed to remember that someone else had worn it first and slept in the bed I was sat on first too. He deleted it but soon it happened whenever he put anything about me online. I asked him to stop and he agreed.

I feel like I'm being made to hide my relationship with him because of his ex girlfriends belief that we cheating on her. I feel bad for her believing this as I did like him, I was happy that broke up, but I never went out of my way to get with him. We were friends before and it wasn't planned.

I kind of feel like it won't get started before she ruins it or it gets too much. My boyfriend doesn't seem to mind but at the same time, it's not him that gets the online abuse.

What's the best thing to do? It's only been a few months and I don't want to give up.

View related questions: broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, split up

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (18 May 2015):

Honeygirl agony auntYour BF needs to block her from facebook. Stop all contact with her.

The less she knows about what's happening in your lives the better.

If you have to, deactivate your FB profiles completely.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWhy is he still friends with HER friends on FB? Does he enjoy this drama?

I mean it all sounds so high school, to be honest.

First of all, "you" (general you) can not STEAL another person. HE made that choice. She didn't like it and instead of either look inwards as to why he ended the relationship or look at HIS actions, SHE attacks you... thinking YOU are an easier target.

DO NOT play her games. Tell your BF to hide his feeds from friends of hers, if he doesn't want to block/delete them.

IF you two STAND united and ignore the slander, it will get old and they will find better things to do. HOWEVER, if they cross lines REPORT them to FB.

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