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My boyfriends dad has just died. I don't know how to comfort him without crying. Please help!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2007)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriends dad just died and i am about to cry and i don't know how to act or what to say no one close to me ever died what should i do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

i had a best mate who had loads of family members die.

the best thing to do is:

1. dont say that you know how they feel cos that makes them angry

2. just sit with them in silence and hug them, dont force them to talk about it

3. reassure them that if they want to talk you ARE there but dont force any convo

4. dont keep saying im so sorry cos he knows you are sorry for him and you saying it over and over again will just make him more upset or frustrated

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A female reader, Midge United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2007):

Midge agony auntI went through this two years ago with my boyfriend. All I could do is be there for him when he needed me. Be his shoulder to cry on and be as strong as possible. If he wants to cry, let him, its the best way for him to get through the initial emotions of his loss.

I found sometimes though that crying with him made him more aware of how much he meant to me, and that I would be there through the good and bad times. His dad means a lot to me too since he is a part of him, so if you were close to his dad, you need to cry too.

Just be there for him when he needs you. Dont push him too much, just let him lead the way!

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (17 December 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntHi Hun,

I just lost my Dad two months ago, and all I wanted my spouse to do was hold me and let me cry. I'm sorry that your boyfriend lost his Dad at such a young age, that is very sad. Just let him cry and be patient and loving, he won't mind if you are crying too. You sound like a sweet girlfriend. Take good care of him. God Bless.

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (17 December 2007):

Sandman agony auntCry with him. Crying with him shows that you care for him and are deeply saddened by the loss of his father. Cry with him. Hold him tight when he is sad. Cry with him. Don't say a word. Be there for him. That's all you can do is be there.

Hope this helps.

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A male reader, jm81690 Canada +, writes (17 December 2007):

jm81690 agony auntJust open up to him, let him know you'll be there no matter what.

There isn't much to say about that kind of thing really, just make sure you're there for him.

That's gotta be tough, I can't imagine losing my dad at this early an age.

Sorry to hear about the loss of his dad.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

Hi Hunny,

Im so sorry to hear this sad news.

You are going to be upset love its natural, Just hold him you dont need to say anything just be there for him my love im so very sorry for your boyfriend and his familys loss and yours sweetheart god bless love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2007):

anon_e_mouse agony auntMy Dad died and unfortunately for me I had noone there for me and had to deal with it on my own.

My advice to you is just open up and let those emotions out. Give your boyfriends plenty of cuddles, I'm sure he needs your support as much as you need his.

At times like this you NEED the person most special to you to be there. Be there for each other and it'll bring you EVEN closer.

As time goes by things will get easier. I still miss my Dad and have, when watchin "Meet Joe Black", cried recently about it and he passed away unexpectedly 5 years ago.

Look after each other, look after yourself, and be there for your boyfriend. Take care!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

Its ok to cry. You mourn together. You help each other get through this. Don't be affraid to cry infront of him, he'll know that he can turn to you if you show him that you care and are not affriad of this deeply sad situation. Just be there for him. Be yourself...and let him know that you will be there with him at anyplace and time that he wants you to be for support.

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