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My boyfriend was married before and I cant get over the fact that I am not his first love

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 23 and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is 32, for about 6 months. He had a previous relationship of 10 years, 3 of which they spent married, and he has been divorced for 2 years.

Although all this happened before I met him, I am so frustrated with these feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anger towards his ex-wife. They still remain friends, speaking every few months or so, and he still keeps in touch with her family. He speaks highly of her to me and it really annoys me. I cant stand the thought of him having this intense, long relationship and I am left feeling like leftovers or just second best.

Ive expressed my insecurities to him and he ensures me that he loves me and wants to spend our lives together. I trust him, but I dont know if I can get over this baggage, I'm only 23 for god's sake! But I love him. What do I do??

View related questions: divorce, ex-wife, his ex, jealous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

thanks everyone for the advice. it has been helpful.

i think the major problem was that i was really upset with myself for being this insecure. im usually very independent, outgoing, ambitious and confident, and i hated that the situation caused me to lose myself a bit. but i guess it happens with everyone.

anyways, i decided it would be a really dumb reason to throw out this relationship and that i really dont have a problem with his past, its more an issue with my insecurity. so, ive been trying to find that person again in myself, and i have been successful thus far.

i think things will work out just fine :)

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (15 April 2008):

Danielepew agony auntWell, if you can't take the facts, leave him. Otherwise, stay with him and leave the past in the past.

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A female reader, daniellexxxx United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2008):

daniellexxxx agony auntHes with you, you have him now not her dont think like that. Yeah it's natural to be jelouse but he oviously had problems with his ex and they got divorced. So i'd say he loves you but wants to stay friends with his ex and her family as he was marryed to her 4 10 year. Just forget it adn trust him he wants you not her.

Good luck.

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