A
female
age
41-50,
*ennyd
writes:We have been together for 9 months and now my boyfriend has confessed that he wants a baby. Problem is, I already have 2, and have no inclination to have any more. My kids love him to bits. We don't live together, but do u think if he spent more time with my kids he would get over it? I love him loads and he says he feels the same, but is this gonna be the end for us? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 if you don't want more kids now, what do you think will change your mind in two years?
and what happens if you "try" for a baby and don't have one?
will he always feel the loss of not having his own children?
Men thankfully for them can always father children.... I just wonder what will happen if he still has the baby urge and you can't comply for whatever reason....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Hi
Hope all goes well for you then, but remember in 2 yrs you and your children will be older and add to that the time it takes to conceive...But if your both in love,then it can work and you *may* then decide you want 1,2,or more of his babies!
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A
female
reader, pennyd +, writes (11 March 2013):
pennyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much everyone for all ur help. Quite mixed replies which we expected. He went home and thought things through, then the following evening we talked and talked. He said that whatever he decided was going to cause regrets either way, so we agreed that we would give things our best shot for now and in 2 years time if he felt the same and things were going well we would try for a baby.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (10 March 2013):
6 weeks is not long enough for him to make up his mind. I dont agree what the previous poster said, that a stepfather is someone who isnt bothered whether they have kids or not. a step parent has a very hard job to do really. but it is too early for you both to be thinking of this. wait until you have your own house (together), and everything set up
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A
female
reader, pennyd +, writes (10 March 2013):
pennyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have always made it clear to him, right from the start that I don't want more kids. He says he's been gettin broody forthe last 6 weeks or so. It's not that he wants kids with me, he just wants kids of his own someday. He left last night to think about things, but I think this is the end
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 March 2013):
 Hi
This is a dealbreaker,you need to talk.
Though it's way too soon to think about actually *having* children together,you don't even share a home and its only been 9months.
You need to make it very clear a baby is NOT on your agenda, thats your choice and right.
He will want his genes continued, a child of his own with you,that's not the same as *your* children.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (10 March 2013):
 I agree with CMMP. He wants HIS kids -- with his DNA, his offspring, and his last name.
Yes, I agree, once he gets a taste of raising kids and how much work and stress they can be, he may change his mind. I know I dreamed of having children too, but once I saw what really went into them, I backed out. I have no regrets. Most people only think about the joys that kids bring. They are a lot of work, heartbreak and money.
The bottom line, is that he wants children of his own. I don't see this changing -- many man dream of having children of their own -- someone who will call them dad and that will love him unconditional. If you aren't on board with having children, you must let your boyfriend know so that he can make a decision about whether being a stepfather will be enough parental satisfaction for him.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2013): I think talk to him. Tell him how you feel but be open to his feelings too. If he has no children at all i can understand why he'd want his own genetic mark on the world. Some guys will take on a child as their own (my dad did) and some want their own children too. Its a difficult one, you love him but it might be a deal breaker because someone has to compromise to stay together.
Also nine months into the relationship is too early for baby talk, i think obviously he wants to know where you stand on the subject but i would not considering adding a child into the mix for 2 - 3 years.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 March 2013):
No, because they'll never be HIS kids no matter how much he cares for them. Part of wanting to have kids is selfishness, you want to have a "mini-me".
If he spends more time with your kids and they start to annoy him, THEN he may change his mind.
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