A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a predicament. I've been dating a really nice man for the past year. However, there is this one friend of his family member who in the past 10 years has removed all her clothing and targeting him lets just say more than once. He swears he has never had sex with her however he has never condoned her actions which I think is the reason she continued this behavior. He maintains they were both single at the time and he's a man what could he do and has no interest in her she is just an old family friend and is like a sister. I have brothers and never had the desire to seduce them nor their friends. If a man does this to a woman it's sexual harassment as it is not consensual really. If a woman does this to a man it seem to be water under the bridge. I'm a strong believer that people do not do anything for no reason. Now where I have an issue is I'm sure i will eventually meet her and I'm feeling uneasy. I'm not sure how to treat or behave around her. I know I'm not going to feel myself and have a good time. It's not that I do not trust my bf because I do but rather I do not trust her and furthermore I have no respect for her and have absolutely no use for a woman like this in my life. She has no class. He told me about her because he was afraid it may come out at one point in time but now he somewhat regrets telling me. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2018): If he wanted her, he could have had her....so I really wouldn't worry too much about it.
Although I agree with you that I would think it odd if he kept her as a close friend. However merely keeping her in his circle of friends if she has been an acquaintance for years is understandable.
He likely told you the story to make you a little jealous, thinking that you'd see him as super attractive as women throw themselves at him or something. I'm not saying it isn't true, but he definitely chose to let you know thinking it would make him seem even more attractive to you.
Overall I would be pretty confident meeting her...she is the one to be embarrassed.
by the way "condoned" means to approve of something. You meant "condemned"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2017): You seem to be a little controlling in this, expecting that everyone does as you feel. You can't expect everyone in the world to behave in the same way as you. You're expecting your new boyfriend and this lady to see the world exactly as you do, if you continue to that, it will ruin the relationship in the future. That's not to say you are wrong in your beliefs- but you either have to accept them as they are, or move on.
But don't forget, he told you about this woman and what she did. He wanted you to know, this shows he's probably trustworthy. You can't do anything about her, especially if she's in their circle, so let it be where it happened- in the past.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your response it has been extremely grounded and helpful.
However, I have been a little vague with all the info I have with respect to this situation but I'm not really comfortable divulging all the details pubic ally. Is there a way I can fill you in so you have a better understand of how this person has been operating.
Furthermore, we are not teenagers we are in our late 40's and mid 50's. We are in New Relationships and I am being very careful not to bring anything in our relationship that can tarnish it. I guess, this is what is bothering me too... I would not expect my bf to cut bread with people I've been naked around and i guess I'm expecting the same respect back. My philosophy is; I don't sleep or have sexual episodes with my friends. My friends are my friends, my FWB are just that FWB not my friends and my lovers are my lovers. All the people I've had sex with in my past are no longer in my life today. I may be old fashion but it's just my philosophy and this is what's probably making it even harder for me to deal with and understand this awkward situation I find myself into.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (22 December 2017):
 When you say your boyfriend has never "condoned" her actions, do you mean "condemned"? Is this what is really bugging you?
Your boyfriend is not interested in this woman sexually. However, she is an old family friend, so he does not want to fall out with her, and why should he? I assume she hasn't actually jumped on him and tried to molest him?
When you meet her, just treat her like any of his other friends or family. She won't know whether you know about what she did. If SHE mentions it, just laugh and say "Yes, I had heard. That was really funny." Don't let her think you are threatened by her behaviour. Your boyfriend is not asking you to be best friends with her (and, let's face it, YOU will probably not be HER favourite person, as you are with the man she has hoped to seduce) but you should be civil and polite, regardless of your judgemental attitude towards her. After all, you don't know anything about her life, why she did what she did, and it's really nothing to do with you. Hold your head high and don't let her see you feel threatened by her, even though you obviously do.
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