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My boyfriend of 2 years came inside me for the first time after sex. Why did he do this?

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Question - (28 January 2016) 9 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2016)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend came inside me after having sex.

He always pulls out and this is the first time in 2 years he has ever done this. So I am wondering if I need to be concerned by the change in behaviour. Why do this after all this time when he has never done this before?

He told me because I am on my period there is no chance of me getting pregnant. I am not on the pill and never have been. Our only contraception has been spermicide.

So just wondering why the change today? I did ask him and he just chalked it up to me being on my period but I have been on my period tons of times and he never came inside me before.

Can anyone give some advice or opinions?

View related questions: period, sperm, the pill

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2016):

I don't think I have ever heard of people just using a spermicide alone for birth control. Perhaps because "Spermicides used alone are about 70% to 80% effective."

That is pretty risky unless you want to get pregnant!

I would get a more reliable form of birth control.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 January 2016):

chigirl agony auntHe wants you to get pregnant.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2016):

You CAN get pregnant using the pull out method.

However, when done correctly this method is roughly 70 to 98 percent effective.

Precum does NOT contain sperm. Unless the male has ejaulated recently, as some sperm may stay in the urethra and the precum then takes them with it. Precum is simply a lubricant.

If the male urinates before sex, the likelihood of any sperm finding their way into precum is minimal as the urine washes the urethra out.

So yes, you can become pregnant, but unless done incorrectly, the risks of pregancy are not much higher than the pill or condoms.

Pulling out does jack shit for STDs though.

As to having sex on your period... you CAN get pregnant, but it is highly unlikely. In fact you probably have more chance of pregnancy from the pull out method. But sex on a womans period is considered less desirable for many reasons.

Look, at the end of the day of you find a.contraceptive method that works for you, then have at it. But know the risks. And know... no method of contraception is 100 percent effective, small percentages will get pregnant in spite of what method employed.

Life finds a way. As it were.

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (29 January 2016):

eddie85 agony auntYou know what they call couples who use the pull out method as a form of birth control?

Parents.

While you may have gotten (extremely lucky) so far you have to remember that when a guy is having sex, little bits of pre-cum are produced that eventually find their way into your vagina. This pre-cum actually has some sperm in it that is capable of making you pregnant.

If you don't want to become pregnant please please use birth control 100% of them time.

That being said, the simple answer to your question is that likely your boyfriend lost control or had cummed just a little bit and figured why not go for broke. To be honest, it is more pleasurable for a man to ejaculate in your vagina versus pulling out.

Eddie

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (29 January 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntWhy did he do this?

Because he's as clueless about contraception and avoiding STIs as you seem to be. You are 22-25, no flag given, so I can't direct you to the site in your country which would provide some very basic information for the both of you.

Yes, you should be concerned in the change of behaviour. (Ah, a clue, it's the Queen's English you used.) What's more, you should be in charge of your own contraception. So your own behaviour needs a look-see.

Advice, don't be so passive in your own personal health and well-being.

Opinions, he's a prat, as Fatherly Advice said. But then he's been using the pull out method for so long, he just got lazy.

Wake up and take better care of your health. You are 22-25, you have your whole life ahead of you, wise up!

And for your own safety, go see your gynecologist and discuss this entire situation with her (or him) so you don't go on making uninformed and ill-advised decisions.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (28 January 2016):

Fatherly Advice agony auntMy advice would be to not have unprotected sex unless you want to have a child.

My opinion would be that he is a bit tired of pulling out. He also is a complete prat for not getting permission first.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (28 January 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI hate to prove him wrong but you can actually get pregnant on your period, it is less likely but it is still possible, so it might be a good idea to get the morning after pill if you don't want to become pregnant. You can get it up to 72hrs after sexual intercourse, but the sooner it is got the better.

I cannot tell you why he done this, even though it is totally out of character, it could be a case that he came to quickly and it happened so fast that he didn't actually mean to do it, or maybe he just got carried away and wanted to see what it felt like. I don't think it is a cause for concern however if you didn't want him doing it then you need to talk to him about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2016):

yes. He is either truly is either truly ignorant about the fact that you can get pregnant at any time during your cycle, in which case you can show him tons of websites that tell you different. or, he is hoping to get you pregnant to make sure that you are willing to stick around no matter what and by getting pregnant it will be awfully hard for you to completely disconnect from him. if you do not want a baby, get your ass on birth control and take him down to the Women's Center with you so he can hear the doctor or midwife tell him that you can indeed get pregnant. if he refuses, tell him there is no more sex until his agrees. don't let him try to tell you you are being demanding because it is your body that will be pregnant. if he doesn't like that, dump him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2016):

Very simple. He couldn't pull it out in time so he let it go. Actually by instinct males of all species including humans are wired in such a way to endeavor to place the semen as close as possible to the female egg to facilitate fertilization.I hope you are ready for marriage if a pregnancy occurs, because the method you are using for prevention is extremely unreliable.

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