A
female
age
36-40,
*am30
writes:Guys please help!I am in a relationship with this guy for 3 years now. 1.5 years were long distance.. it was a mess. He was a casanova during his college years before he asked me out. He had nothing but girls in his life. He even lied to me about his flings and past and I was so fed up of his lies that I dumped him but we met after 8 months and somehow got back together.. blaming misunderstandings and commitment issues on long distance. Things are great since when its no longer long distance. I did have a hard time trusting him but every time I was proved wrong. Those bugging girls did try to contact him and he told me about it every time and abused them in front of me. Initially he hid somethings but confessed everything with time. He was in touch with his exes for 2 years of our relationship and kept me in the dark.. I didn't know he had flings with the girls he call his facebook friends.. I feel its wrong.. he admits his mistakes too.. I had a hard time when he confessed bitter lies to me but all were related to his past so I decided to give him a chance. But If i hear a rumour or any lie he told to some girl, I have a hard time believing him. I am very afraid I might be hurt again when I hear friends saying liars and such guys never change, am afraid he might have hidden more things from me. I try too hard to trust him but afraid I might be hurt. And I don't wanna lose out on a relationship we have worked so hard based on assumptions... I cannot verify these facts!I really am in love with this guy I once dumped. The relationship had taken a lot outta me and It was a struggle to get it on track. I know he doesn't deserve all I have done and sacrificed but he makes me happy.. He is very supportive and caring and I owe my career and emotional support to him. He has been there for me throughout the last year. I don't know what to do. He was a liar and a jerk and had reasons.. He lied about his past cause I used to throw fits..and he was afraid I might dump him again.. He confess everything as it happens now.. at present, I feel things are okay. But can such guys change? Please help me.
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female
reader, kissdesign  +, writes (22 July 2013):
I kinda relate, yes people change but it depends on the person ofcourse. My boyfriend or my husband now has this girl habits too. Hes so attached to his girl friends then I married him and I thought he'll change since were already married but I was wrong cause each month after our marriage he keeps on chatting sweetly to his exflings, to his coworker asking her out and even to my own bestfriend.
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (2 July 2013):
 We all grow up, and when we're faced with losing something we care about, we buck up and make it right.
You used to throw fits at him, you don't anymore....so you've changed.
He lost you, he suffered, he got you back, I suspect that its been a rocky road, and you've probably dug more things up, questioned him like a police officer and still he has stayed true, despite knowing he was gonna get it in the ear.
He has done nothing in the last year to warrant you being paranoid now, if you carry on like this, the snooping will start, and you'll end up finding something that you may wrongly misinterpret, your on the slippery slope.
You chose to give him another chance, you have to draw a line somewhere, and remember....there is no future in history, so you have to let the history go, so you have that future. IT does sound like he is committed to you.
Good luck.
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